Living With Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Ever crossed paths with someone who displays narcissistic tendencies? These people tend to leave a lasting impression, maybe even a deficient bank account or a wake of broken relationships, but almost always coming with both an extreme depletion of energy and a sense of unrelenting confusion. Once you recognize that you have invited a narcissist into your experience, your life will never quite be the same.

What Are The Signs of Living With A Narcissist? 

When you live with someone with untreated narcissistic personality disorder, you are living with someone who is unstable. They cannot regulate their own emotions. They go up and down and they insist that you go up and down with them.

Something small can trigger them and suddenly they are enraged, and usually at you. If you do not immediately apologize and act as if the whole thing is your fault, their fragile ego will cause them to escalate the fight. You become the enemy. They will then double down on the idea that it is all your fault and try to punish you for it.

If this is a long term relationship, at best your life will be a series of waves that you will have to emotionally surf.

How Disappointment Ensues

No matter how much you try, no matter how good you are, you will periodically get devalued, mistreated, and threatened. Things will be going great one moment, then suddenly your narcissistic partner will get triggered and you are no longer surfing, you are underwater drowning.

The longer you live with a narcissist, the more you are likely to exhaust yourself trying to stay optimistic. After a while, your partner’s pattern will become extremely and sickeningly obvious. No matter how well things appear to be going, it can all change in a second and become truly heart or gut wrenching -- like walking into a room and being sucker-punched. 

It is quite disheartening because, other than leave, there is nothing you can do to make your home life stable and emotionally safe.

Who Do They Choose As Their Partners?

Narcissists are often in a relationship with codependent and boundary-less people -- those with incredible emotional empathy and a background of abuse. The narcissist's need for control over their partner stems from their own abusive or neglectful childhood where they did not have any control themselves.

So if you ever try to communicate your needs in the relationship by speaking up or being assertive, a narcissist will start with the silent treatment as if they are the victim, until you back down. They want to make all the decisions in the relationship while you observe and watch, using defensiveness, excuses, stonewalling, or gaslighting as a form of emotional abuse. This is all used to manipulate you. And because you come from a background of abuse, you tolerate and even normalize their behaviors towards you, and everyone else.

Having a relationship with a narcissist will also create a constant state of inner confusion and exhaustion. You are simultaneously drained of your energy while also questioning your self-worth. No matter what you do, it will never be enough; they will always find a way to criticize you one way or the other, until you give up and truly believe that you are not good enough, loveable or worthy. 

Defeated, you will feel like everything is your fault and often apologize for nothing. Being with a narcissist will also make you feel like the narcissist -- as they will accuse you of being irrational, difficult, crazy, or wrong, make you second guess or feel guilty for your choices. Narcissists lack emotional empathy; therefore, their constant taunting behaviour takes a significant toll on your mental health.

The Delusional Trap To Avoid

It is very common for both narcissists and their partners to both find themselves disappointed and rather shocked that everything is not going as expected in the relationship. The psychological term used to describe this phenomenon is called cognitive dissonance.

First of all, narcissists are so delusional and dishonest that they play themselves along with their partner. Whenever they meet a new romantic interest they think this time around it will all be different. This person will finally make them happy and lift their fragile self-esteem and ego, making them feel good about themselves all the time.

So the narcissist puts their best foot forward and says all the right things. They act sweet, attentive, and considerate. This isn’t necessarily fake. They truly feel that you are perfect for them and that they have a real chance at a long lasting relationship with you.

The problem is that they lack the skills needed to handle a real relationship. So as soon as the relationship tests them through any disagreements and misunderstandings that naturally transpire, they aren’t able to navigate their negative emotions maturely. If you are paying close attention, this is the time they start to reveal their true colors.

This is when they start to play games. Instead of communicating their feelings directly and authentically, they resort to manipulations in order to control, influence, exploit, provoke, and punish the person of interest. If they can’t play the source the way they want and the source sees right through their perverted pretenses and calls them out, they typically pull the plug and disappear in true coward fashion.

Narcissists are bored, weak and lazy. Yes initially they believe they got lucky to have found someone good looking, kind, and intelligent. However they lack the skills to keep up the facade for any extended periods of time.

What Are Some Narcissistic Traits To Look For?

• A sense of entitlement

• Takes you for granted

• A need to be in control

• A lack of emotional empathy

• Never apologizes

• Justified in their rage and blame

• Extreme self-centeredness

• Gives only with a goal

• Grandiosity

• Poor impulse control

• Requires constant affirmation and adoration

How Is Narcissism Created?

Narcissists are created in loveless homes, by loveless families, where the child is just an extension of the parent.

Often competing with their children, the narcissistic parent likes to also play favorites -- showing outrageous favor to one child while over-punishing the other. The idea is to constantly cause division amongst the children so they won’t gang up on the parent.

The child also never experiences love from this parent without conditions, and lives in a home where children are to blame for everything that is wrong. 

Disproportionate Punishment And Treatment

If we have a childhood where our parents love us despite our flaws, we are punished proportionally to our bad behavior, and it feels like our parents still respect, love us and want us to be safe, we will be able to put together that our mother who punishes us and the one who is nice to us are the same person. As we grow up and mature, we also learn to integrate the good and bad parts in ourselves into one stable, realistic person.

However, if our parents aren’t able to see us realistically, and instead treat us as all good or all bad, we will not have the ability to learn how to see good and bad within a whole person. It's called whole object relations.

If you don't have it, you see other people as either all good, or all bad. And you will see yourself as all good or all bad. 

All-Good = They see the person as perfect, special, flawless, high status, idealizable, and entitled to special treatment.

All-Bad = They see the person as defective, inadequate, worthless garbage, low status, fair game for devaluation and abuse, and entitled to nothing.

And, if you do not have whole object relations, you will not have object constancy either because object constancy depends on being able to see both sides of a person at once.

Object constancy is the ability to maintain the big picture of your whole relationship, especially the good parts and good feelings towards someone, when you are angry, hurt, frustrated, or physically distant from the person. 

For instance, during a fight, once someone with narcissistic personality disorder gets angry with you, they will immediately see you as all-bad and “forget” their past positive feelings for you—or explain them away as mistakes in an attempt to resolve the discrepancy between their current feelings towards you and any past positive feelings.

You are a terrible person and so mean to me. If I ever said otherwise, it was because I was taken in by how ‘nice’ you were acting at the time.

Narcissists can say something as nonsensical as the above because they do not realize that they have not yet developed the capacity to form an integrated view of people—something that most other people learn by the age of 6. Therefore, they have to rationalize away the inconsistency between their current view of you and their past view because they can only alternate between seeing you as either all-good or all-bad.

Fast Forward to Adulthood

At the start of a new relationship, narcissists may see their new person as flawless. Then, as they see the person act in ways that do not perfectly fit the picture of their ideal life, or start to notice the person’s normal human flaws, they may try and deal with their disillusionment in some of the following ways:

• Accusations—Instead of realizing that they were expecting too much and adjusting their expectations to fit the reality, they accuse the other person of deceiving them or having bad intentions. “I thought you were so nice, but now I see you fooled me and were acting the whole time.”

• Controlling Behavior—They try to force their partner to change to be more in line with their initial beliefs about what they were like. “You would look hotter if you wore this outfit instead.”

• Threats—When their partner does not go along with their requests or holds different ideas, they may try and bully them into compliance. “You will be very, very sorry if you keep up that behavior.”

• Devaluation—They try to motivate their partner to change by trying to convince them that whatever they are doing or thinking is wrong, stupid, ignorant, and worthless. “Nobody with any intelligence would ever say what you just said.”

• Punishments—They feel entitled to punish their partner for not complying with their wishes. “I am not taking you out for dinner as planned because you are making me so angry.”

What Is Really Going On?

In many ways, narcissists are emotionally and cognitively stuck at a childlike state of development. They still see themselves as the center of the world, cannot conceive that other people can have a valid point of view that differs from their own, and do not understand that it is unreasonable to expect other people to empathically intuit all their needs. They may have a high IQ and be brilliant at their job, but in many ways their view of people and relationships is not equal.

When narcissists are emotionally triggered, they only focus on how they feel in the moment. People with narcissistic personality disorder are usually focused on their current thoughts and feelings, not how they felt twenty minutes ago or how they might feel in the future. Once something triggers a strong negative or positive response, that reaction takes center stage. Narcissists then act as if their current emotional state and way of thinking is all there is and will last forever.

Thus, if you are dating someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, when your lover feels great about you, he or she may start making plans for the future with you—even though the two of you hardly know each other. “Let’s go to Rome together. I can’t wait to show you my favorite restaurant.” Then something you do triggers a negative reaction and suddenly those plans are history, leaving you in a state of confusion.

What Did I Do Wrong? 

Most of us believe that when someone loves us they will do or feel some of the following:

• They will try to avoid hurting us.

• They will care about our feelings.

• They will empathize with us.

• When we feel unhappy, they will try to soothe us or cheer us up.

• They will not lie to us.

• They will take our side in an argument with other people.

• They will not devalue us to other people behind our backs.

• They will try and keep their promises to us.

• They will be sexually and emotionally faithful to us if we agree to be in a monogamous relationship.

After the courtship period is over, if you are in love with someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and believe that they love you (whether you know their actual diagnosis or not), you are likely to find that the person’s actual behavior violates your belief system. This puts you in the position of having cognitive dissonance.

So, what do you do now?

At that point, most partners of narcissists use one or more of the following psychological defenses to try and diminish their cognitive dissonance without having to leave the relationship. This is not meant to be an exhaustive list, just some of the more common ways people deal with this type of contradictory information:

• Denial—They refuse to believe the new information. “He would never cheat on me. He loves me.”

• Rationalization—They make excuses that minimize the importance of the behavior. “She was drunk when she called me those vile names. That is not likely to ever happen again.”

• Blaming Oneself—Preserving the other person’s basic goodness by taking the blame for their bad behavior. “It was really my fault. I provoked him.”

• Normalization—They comfort themselves with the idea that the behavior or attitude is normal. “Everyone loses their temper occasionally.”

How Can You Walk Away From Narcissists For Good?

What many people don't realize is that the people we engage with will always mirror who we are on the inside. They reflect our insecurities, self-doubts, tendencies to over give, and feelings of unworthiness. However, once you learn the (sometimes very loud) lessons these types of relationships provide, you can heal to a depth you may not have known existed.

• Identify if you are in a toxic relationship and seek support to show you how to navigate, or potentially end it.

• Release ties and energetic cords to free yourself from toxic relationships, as well as any and all karmic ties, contracts or agreements.

• Stop living for the expectations of others and recalibrate to your own needs.

• Heal to the core and permanently release patterns that do not serve you.

• Embrace empowerment and self-confidence.

• Learn to trust yourself and your guidance system to be your own most reliable and consistent ally.

Now, show them that everything they thought they knew about you was a miscalculation.They thought you would never put your foot down and say no to them? Refuse something really important that they are asking for, and do not budge.

They thought you would always place more importance on their well-being than on your own? Show them that if they are headed in the direction of their own demise, you will help walk them to their next stop.

They thought you would never have the ability to leave them and make it on your own? Show them that life goes on without their help and create a life without them.

How To Get Unstuck Emotionally And Mentally

This period of time in history is full of challenges for all of humanity. The landscape of the world as we know it has been turned on its head sideways, and as we begin to peer out from this altered perspective, we immediately see with visual acuity all that we need to change about ourselves, and about our environment. 

So please be careful with one another. Be careful with yourself. There are extreme energy changes pulsing through the universe at every level and, of course, we are all part of the process and the collective growing pains. Remind yourself regularly—you are not being singled out and you are definitely not alone in all of this. Each of us holds a grain of sand in our very capable hands to once again rebuild Fantastica.

Explore Your Purpose

Old paradigms have shifted and shattered. Our Ivory Tower may have fallen. We sit quietly in the stillness just before the sunrise, like the phoenix listening to the wind blow. Laying in the smoldering ashes, crumble and rubble, just before taking flight again lighting up the dark, early morning sky. We remind ourselves that all is not for naught.

Due to our current and very intense surroundings, it can be incredibly challenging to maintain a positive attitude and a measure of faith, especially when we are in the midst of such difficulties. In our evolution, we tend to think that if the universe loves us we will experience that love in the form of continuous positive circumstances. One, right after the other. When in actuality, we continue to evolve into higher states of awareness of our true capacity and potential.

Like a child, the universe is gentle and lovingly coercing us to choose more for ourselves while we are here, reminding us of our soul contracts with others, and to be better versions of ourselves always. The universe is our wise mother who knows what our soul needs in order to thrive, better than we could possibly imagine for ourselves in this lifetime. The universe knows why we came, and assists us to remember too.

Just as a young child does not benefit from getting everything she wants immediately, we also benefit from times of constriction and difficulty to help us grow and learn. If we keep this in mind, and continue to trust that we are loved and guided even when things are hard, it helps us bear the difficult time with grace.

If we continue to meditate and keep our connection with our angels, ancestors, and galactic guides of light, you’ll know they are directing and guiding us every step of the way. To receive their guidance, direction or information, we need to check in and ask for what we need. Through our meditation, we continue to keep our connection without getting lost in the struggle of this third dimensional reality.

Let Go Of The Past

It also helps if we remember that life is one phase after another and that these difficult times will inevitably give way to something new and different. When we feel overwhelmed we can comfort ourselves with the wise saying: This too shall pass. 

At the same time, if you truly feel that nothing is going right for you, it's never a bad idea to examine your life and see if there are some immediate changes you can make to alleviate some of the difficulty that stands in your way every day. How could things become simpler? What are you still gripping onto that needs to fall away? How could you relieve your frustrations and help alleviate your pains? What are you resisting, and willing to give up for such freedom?

It's important to take stock of what is going on and find out if there is something we are doing or not doing that is keeping us stuck. Sometimes the situation is out of our control, and we need to look within to find the patience required to wait with equanimity until things move forward again. Many times, though, we can find the source of our stagnation in our own hearts and minds. Sometimes we are clinging to old ideas about reality and we need to make adjustments that will bring us back in tune with life, so we can flow again. Sometimes we find that fear of change is what's keeping us stuck, and we can resolve to find ways of facing that fear. 

Gently and compassionately explore the areas which give you the most trouble. May this intentionality reveal things that you have been holding onto and need to release, such as: unprocessed emotions, unresolved transitions, or negative ways of looking at yourself or your reality. 

If introspection does not provide the answers you need, it can sometimes be helpful to ask those around you if they notice anything obvious that you might not be able to see. Remember to ask someone whom you can trust to be kind and sensitive as well as honest. Try to let go of your resistance because whenever there is something we can't see ourselves, it's because we don't want to see it. Try to listen with an open mind, and remember that you are always the final judge of what you need. Anything offered to us from an outside source will need to be processed and integrated before its wisdom can take hold. 

As you begin to take responsibility for the things you can change, and choose differently, you begin to create a paradigm shift in your life. Open your hands and your heart and begin asking and reaching for the things you really want. You will more easily surrender to things you cannot change, remembering all the while that this phase will, without doubt, give way to another transition of time. Keep in perspective that you may be at the bottom of the ferris wheel right now, but you will eventually roll up to the top, with that gorgeous and amazing view you’ve been working so hard towards, spilled out before you. Don’t give up until you do.

Change Your Perspective

In order to move forward and make progress towards your most abundant life, you have to get out of your own way and allow yourself to let it happen. 

The first step in allowing yourself to thrive is releasing yourself from the feeling of being stuck. When you feel stuck, you hurt your chances of succeeding by mentally stopping yourself from taking the steps towards progress. 

And since the feeling of stuckness is so ingrained in your thinking, you may not even know that you are your own reason for not making progress. This causes resentment towards other parts of your life, and growing resentment towards yourself and the thing you’re trying to achieve. 

Start With Small Changes

It shouldn’t be a surprise to you that this is a common problem with most people. When we feel stuck, it can be helpful to let go of our resistance to the change that wants to come forth. You may be committing self-sabotage, fear-led decisions, and taking actions to simply survive and not thrive without even knowing it. 

In all this, be kind to yourself and remember that we all get stuck sometimes. Think of it as a part of your process, a necessary step on your journey, rather than as a problem that shouldn't be happening. This can help to keep your frustration at bay and give you the space you need to take a deep breath and really figure out what's going on. 

So many of the people I see in my practice get "stuck" at some point...stuck in a pattern, a habit, a coping mechanism that isn't helping them, in a routine, in an unhappy relationship, in a place, in a job they dislike, in a way of thinking, etc. In fact, everyone gets "stuck" in something at some point in life. It can be during a transitional phase or during a time when we are feeling emotionally low or more isolated than usual. It is digging out of the hole we created for ourselves and getting "unstuck" that is the challenge for people when this occurs. Why can it be so difficult to make new, positive changes stick when we are in a rut?

Effective Change Takes Time

One conflict is time. It takes time to allow for or to create change. In order to have the discipline, patience, and focus, as we start on a path towards positive change, it takes more time than we might be used to in this age of immediate gratification and lightning fast technology. We have to learn to slow down a bit and make the time we need to in a realistic way for the necessary changes to happen in our lives. We must not be discouraged if our progress is steady, but at more of a snail's pace than we'd hoped.

Stop Perpetuating The Blame

Another issue I frequently observe is that many people don't feel truly worthy of positive and healthy changes in their lives. They hold grudges against and judge themselves, thinking that they must continue to struggle and suffer as a sort of "penance" for the prior mistakes they have made in their lives, as if they are not deserving of happiness. The reality is everyone deserves to be healthy and happy. Everyone is worthy of self-love and love from others. We must learn to accept ourselves, flaws and all, to stop judging ourselves and running negative "tapes" in our heads, and to forgive ourselves when we make mistakes. This is the truest way to be healthier, happier, and more fulfilled in our lives permanently.

Take Breaks When Necessary

Another thing that seems to sabotage a lot of people's progress is that they set their goals way too high all at once in the beginning and/or lose patience at the amount of progress they are making slowly over time with such aggressive goals. When, in reality, we have to understand that making small steps in progress toward our overall goal a little bit at a time. It is also important to be "real" with ourselves and set goals we know we will be committed to and will be able to attain, even if it means asking for additional help and support, or taking more time if we need it. We can't expect everything to go our way or to happen overnight. So, hoping for the best, while simultaneously being prepared for challenges that we may need to face, and also being patient and gentle with ourselves, is a great way to approach any type of change.

Be Patient With Your Progress

Some people are ashamed when they don't make the immediate progress that they hoped to achieve, and so they begin to lie or gloss over the truth, with themselves or others, which means they reach a dangerous place of living in denial. This form of escape can actually set you back further away from your intended goals, create more problems that you will need to deal with later anyway, and cause new, unhealthy habits you didn't ever expect to occur. Honesty with yourself and others is the best policy when approaching change. It may be difficult to be honest at first, as the truth can hurt or be scary. But, in the long run, honesty makes everything so much easier and simpler, especially when you are also willing to take responsibility for and own the negative or unhealthy thoughts and behaviors you created in your life.

Dig Emotionally Deep

Stop playing the role of victim and look at what you have done to create and live in your own situation. Sure, other people may also be accountable on some level. But, if you have chosen to continue to hide from or escape the truth of what part you have played in your current situation, you have hurt yourself and may even be enabling the negative/unhealthy habits of those around you.

Focus On Your Own Changes

Remember, you unfortunately can't change anyone else or force someone to change out of unhealthy thought patterns or behaviors against his or her will. Just like you, everyone else only makes healthy changes when fully ready to do so. We can't nag or control/manipulate anyone else into thinking or processing the way that we do or into treating himself/herself better. Just because you are making these transformations for the better in your own life, don't expect everyone else to do so. It is a bonus if your efforts and progress inspire someone else. But, we can't force change on anyone. So, we must accept and love others as they are, respecting their choices, while simultaneously honoring ourselves and our own needs.

You may want to ask yourself some important questions both before you begin to make healthy changes in your life. Here are a few to get you thinking and working things out mentally and emotionally before you take action:

• Why do I want to change? Am I doing this for myself, others or both?

• What might be the long term benefits of these changes? How about the short term benefits?

• Will this make my life healthier and happier?

• Who can I turn to when I need support while I am making these changes?

• If I get scared/uncomfortable or if old feelings/habits sneak up when positive changes start to happen in my life, what will I use as a strategy to cope with these feelings/actions in a healthier way than I used to? (In other words, come up with a healthy habit here to replace an old, unhealthy habit.)

• What strengths do I already have that I can rely on while I am making these changes? What are the things I already like or love about myself?

• If I start to feel unworthy or judgemental of myself during this process, what can I do or tell myself to help stop it before it sabotages my progress towards happiness?

• Do I have any role models/mentors that I can aspire to and learn from who have made these types of changes in their own lives? What can those people teach me?

• What is a reasonable and realistic time frame for me to reach my first small goal in these changes? 

• How can I reward myself (not with food or alcohol/drugs/tobacco, etc....but with something healthy that encourages the good habit to continue) when I reach my first small goal?

• How much time can I realistically spend on these changes every day?

• What are some of the things, like thought patterns, behaviors, people, situations, etc., that I need to let go of in order to help these positive changes happen?

Change usually takes time. Just to change and replace one unhealthy habit into a new, healthy habit, can take over a month of effort of repetition before it sticks with you. Don't get discouraged...and if you do, make sure you created a back-up plan for yourself, so you don't slide back into those old habits and patterns on a bad day.

The more positive support and encouragement you have with yourself through this process, the more successful you will become. It can also help to speak with a trusted friend, therapist or healer, or even find a support group to help you through the transition and fear that often accompanies big change. A support system can help you to succeed and reach your goals, even when there are bumps in the road along the way.

Being emotionally unstuck comes down to taking action and holding yourself more responsible for what you do. Take all the time you need to get unstuck. This is all part of your journey for more soul expansion, growth and freedom.

Breaking Unhealthy Addictions

Typically, when we hear about addictions, it has to do with being addicted to harmful substances or damaging behaviors like cigarettes, cocaine, heroine, sex, or gambling.  Of course, there's a good reason for this, as these tend to be some of the most addictive experiences out there. However, if we are really honest, addiction itself is incredibly destructive no matter what you are addicted to. And if we look closer at addiction, you’ll notice it’s all around us. 

What are we addicted to?

It’s simple. Anything we continue to use, despite adverse consequences:

• Continued scrolling through our social feed

• Continued procrastination and putting off our lives

• Continued excessive drinking and driving

• Continued obsessive thinking and criticism about our past mistakes

• Continued denying ourselves of basic needs or not spending money on legitimate needs

• Continued vomiting of food, or using diuretics, exercise, etc. to avoid weight gain

I could continue, but I am also sure you are able to come up with a list of your own. We do all these things, despite adverse consequences.

For myself, thinking about these behaviors as “addictions" can be a powerful framing. I know from my own experience, addiction took years of being faced with negative consequences repeatedly before I realized I needed to change. After all, it is much easier to normalize my existing behavior. 

If you’re being beaten with consequence after consequence, by this point they have probably become so loud, and perhaps feel as if they’re coming at you in every direction, they become difficult to ignore. Your ignorance and constant silencing of your inner child’s needs and wants are now causing you significant problems and catastrophic consequences. 

How To Break An Unhealthy Addiction

First, you have to make a decision to change. After all, I can drop you off at rehab, but if you are completely rigid in your belief system and committed to your wounding patterns, you will most likely carry resistance to the idea that anything can actually change in your life. You might spend a long time telling me why it can’t or won’t happen, or how you “can’t do that” or “you don’t know how.” In addition, all of the rigidity which resides in your body—the stubbornly held beliefs that show up as the TMJ, the hives, rashes, and digestive issues from your buried unresolved rage and resentment—all of these consistently reinforced patterns will stand directly in the way of your belief in your capabilities, therefore blocking any ability to heal yourself. 

One way I like to help my clients move past their resistance and open to possibilities is with an Intuitive Healing Session. Together we can cancel, un-create and delete any disempowering beliefs, and then download empowering beliefs from the creator of all that is, in their place. We also have the opportunity to run your energy with the help of Reiki, as well as incorporate an energetic cord-cutting, increasing the speed in which the energy flows throughout all of your chakras, allowing you to feel lighter and brighter.

When we bring your karma, contracts, and agreements into present time, we free you from any past life experiences connected to your unhealthy addictions. Through all of these energetic and psychic practices, you’ll notice that your resistance and the intensity of suppressed emotions will feel different immediately. You may feel more present awareness, instead of dragging your past around with you. Your focus, attention to, and sensitivity around receiving pleasure will be increased and heightened in a way you previously thought was unattainable.

What Does An Energetic Healing Do For Addiction?

An energetic healing instantly opens you up to the wisdom of your higher self, allowing you to trust in what you receive through your crown chakra (located at the top of your head, which symbolizes your connection to source, God, universe). If that energy continues flowing smooth and freely, it then allows you to see and believe in the wisdom of what you are creating (third eye chakra). If your throat chakra stays open, you receive discernment through active listening. In addition, you begin to share your truth—releasing the message you hear and your own inner guidance out into the world around you. You are “speaking things into existence.”

When a higher frequency of energy passes down through your energetic pathways, you have the opportunity to release any sadness, grief, despair, guilt, shame, anger or betrayal through your energetic and emotional bodies. When energy continues to flow freely through your heart chakra, this allows your love, compassion, and empathy to energetically pass through you into full expansion, just like your breath. In addition, the heart chakra is the gatekeeper and necessary to the lower three chakras.

From here, your imagination and creative ideas move into the integrity of your actions and self-belief (solar plexus chakra), finally moving down and into your passions and self-determination (sacral chakra) and becoming grounded through your root chakra (located at the base of the spine). This is how our ideas are born and delivered out into the world. 

Through energetically releasing what no longer is serving us through an energetic healing, we shift our vibrational frequency, and become fully embodied, centered, and engaged in our aligned path -- in right integrity with our inner truth. When your chakras are clear and in alignment, your life can feel so much clearer and in alignment as well. Everything in life just gets easier.

How Else Can I Ensure My Success?

Prepare yourself and others to make the change you’ve committed to. Set boundaries around what you plan to share or not share. If you are letting go of an addiction which incurs heavy symptoms of withdrawal, call on a relationship with those who also want to see you become a success. Find someone(s) who can cheer you on when you can’t find the strength to. Surrender your guilt around needing someone else’s help. Don’t worry, you can always return the favor.

Have a plan for coping with any withdrawal symptoms, or soothing your judgement around not being perfect or not enough when you slip up. Getting mad at yourself at all indicates that you need to step in and rescue yourself from your learned ability to be unkind to yourself. In these moments, create confidence by asking yourself, “Am I empowered at this moment, or disempowered?” This offers access to your experience in a more somatic (feeling) approach, and encourages an answer to come up from somewhere other than the thinking part of you (which is where we usually get mentally and emotionally stuck).

When we send our bodies the message that we are not good enough, we create additional shame and guilt that will need to be addressed later. We also energetically drain ourselves, which is a waste of precious energy that we could use in positive and beneficial ways that would increase our enjoyment in other areas of our life. 

In addition, continue to encourage your awareness around any replacement addictive behaviors and cultivate self-love around any comparison, impatience, or despair. As our awareness increases, our innate impulse toward health and well-being will be activated, moving us out of danger and into a more positive and more natural, compassionate and loving relationship with ourselves.

Learn how to be your own best friend. Take the time to ask yourself, “What advice would I give my best friend right now?” and take the advice. Ultimately, how can you better love yourself in that moment and make a healthier, more loving choice for you moving forward?

Continue to look honestly and deeply at all of your behaviors. Look where the complacent person in you might justify your behavior and say, “Yeah, I know I shouldn’t be doing that, but it’s not that big of a deal... it doesn’t have a major negative impact on my life, so I can just let it slide. I just want things to be easy.”

Realize that as you change, you may have major changes in relationships and friendships. Unfortunately, the people around us don’t always appreciate when we change, as it puts pressure on them to change their behaviors and how they are showing up to your relationship, as well. Be prepared for any resistance others have to you being what they need you to be.

An Invitation To Sobriety

The point here is, don’t feel bad about yourself and slip into an addiction of self-criticism. Let your awareness be an invitation to your sobriety. As someone who has gone from becoming an alcoholic, to becoming sober, I can say that life is about 1,000 times better when I approach it with a clear mind, reliably centered, and not under the influence. When I am able to approach my life from a place of energetic neutrality, I am more successful at knowing how to be emotionally contained. And for every other untraditional addiction I've let go of, like passive-aggressiveness, the movement into "sobriety" has significantly improved my life. This can be your experience as well.

What are your addictions? Are you open to looking at those (with self-compassion)?  What might life be like if you went "sober"? If you really want and are ready for change, I have confidence you will make it happen. I know, through my own experience, that anything in life can be overcome.

Attachment Styles: How Are They Affecting Your Relationships

I used to live in fear that my husband was going to leave me every time there was an argument between us. There were times I would lay awake at night, obsessively thinking about how much he did not wish to be as close as I would like for him to be to me. 

Highly attuned to any fluctuations in his moods, I took most of his actions personally, experiencing a lot of negative emotions within our relationship. I was regularly getting upset: experiencing headaches, stomach aches, panic attacks, and non-stop crying. 

There were other things that contributed to my constantly being on high alert, in particular, my having been a trauma survivor with PTSD. Throughout most of my life, my thoughts centered around all of my significant relationships. 

Wanting to resolve the conflict within these relationships consumed a large part of my time, as well as emotional energy. I was exhausted, my adrenals were drained, and the worst part was, I didn’t really have the tools to know how to make it stop.

A few years later, I stumbled upon and finally read the highly recommended book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller. I sat up all night, tears streaming down my cheeks in release, devastated, why had it taken me so long to discover this information? 

I am considered an anxious attachment style. Now it all finally made sense.

Consuming each page carefully and absorbing every word, I could clearly see my energy investment and contribution to every relationship I had in my life. Now I felt compelled to take action and responsibility for what I would like to do differently going forward.

Learning Your Attachment Style

First on the list was learning how to tap into the mindset of creating a secure base for myself, my relationship with my daughter, and my husband.

If you haven’t heard of attachment theory, the theory of attachment styles comes from the work psychoanalyst John Bowlby and psychologist Mary Ainsworth performed with infants (usually 9 to 18 months old) and their mothers, during the 1960s and 70s.

The classification comes from how an infant reacted to a strange situation test (the reaction to the reunion with a parent after a stressful separation). Bowlby and Ainsworth were able to clearly identify three different styles: anxious, avoidant and secure.

Since that time, attachment theory has become a useful system for re-thinking complex relationship dynamics and reexamining early childhood traumas. 

Knowing your attachment style improves your ability to communicate with your family members, and if you are coupled, improves your relationship with your primary partner. If you are single, understanding your style can help you choose the most supportive and vibrationally aligned life partner, partnerships, or friendships for you.

Once you’ve determined your attachment style through an online quiz, you are empowered to learn techniques and principles to resolve personal conflict and effectively communicate when you are in an emotionally triggered state. 

The Power of Understanding

Growing up with a secure attachment style isn’t so much about the absence of trauma, but about having a childhood where your needs are met and emotions validated by your primary caregiver. In adulthood, a secure attachment style in a partner relationship means someone who is “attuned to their partner’s emotional and physical cues and know[s] how to respond to them,” as Levine and Heller write in Attached. Non-crisis levels of tension in a relationship don’t make the securely attached person totally shut down or react with an activated or outsized fight or flight response.

If you can see yourself clearly and are able to stay grounded and talk through difficult things in an open manner without getting emotionally flooded or shut down, you have a secure attachment style. Someone with secure attachment is more likely to look at situations more objectively, without overindulging in self-blame, while still being able to take ownership of mistakes.

50% of the population are considered secure attachment styles, and the rest happen to fall within an anxious or avoidant attachment style. If the latter is true for you, your goal is to find more ways of providing inner security and interdependency by learning how to soothe your own inner child. Or partnering with a secure partner which enables you to become more secure over time. 

Providing security for oneself requires you to stay present and make yourself available for any and all emotions you are feeling, to learn ways to manage and emotionally regulate your reactions in real time, and continually practice ways of encouraging yourself when you are in a reactive state. Some of the ways might include guided meditation, positive mindset through affirmations or mantras, mindfulness and breathing techniques, or simply a focus on journaling gratitude.

Of course, this is a long, slow process. Unlearning maladaptive attachment styles has to start with compassion for yourself, as these habits were formed to protect yourself as a child. They likely kept you safe, alert to untrustworthy bonds, and served you well. But in adulthood, you don’t need to use these behaviors any longer; it’s time to thank them for looking out for your emotional safety and ask them to take a rest.

For me, feeling security is about knowing that things that make me anxious are safe to bring up in a relationship without the fear of negative reactions to my vulnerability. I also practice doing the same thing for others. It does not mean that I won’t experience conflict or difficulty working through things, but it does mean that conflict produces greater levels of intimacy, security, and growth with those around me, rather than a contact high of codependent enmeshment or a total shutdown of intimacy between us.

Am I Psychic

It is clear to me that there is a lot of confusion around the word “psychic.” 

As a Psychic Cheerleader, I am regularly asked if I am a psychic medium, or if I am able to foretell your future.

To which I respond, a medium is psychic, but not every psychic is a medium. Let me explain.

Psychics are simply individuals who are able to hear, see, smell, taste, feel, sense, or have intuition beyond the boundaries of the physical world. Just like you have 5 senses — you also have clair senses or extrasensory abilities that correspond to them. When you tap into these senses, the messages you receive can be used to make life choices that are in your best interest.

Because extrasensory gifts vary greatly in intensity and application, it’s best to imagine psychic skills on a spectrum. We all have intuition or a psychic nature — whether you refer to it as a gut reaction, instinct, or foresight. The question is whether or not you are listening to the signs, and whether or not you learned how to trust the information you are receiving.

As I’ve come to work with more and more women, I continue to share and educate others on my own psychic experiences in order to help clear any resistance around what being psychic “should” be, or how it continues to show up for each person. What is important is that we enhance and affirm how you receive information, in a way that makes the most sense for you. Everyone has a dominant clair sense. Mine happens to be clairsentience, the ability to clearly feel.

Almost everyone I’ve worked with has some sort of resistance or trauma and is afraid to receive the information or “do something wrong,” so we work together on releasing those particular beliefs out of your emotional and energetic bodies as they begin to reveal themselves. This allows you to ​enhance and develop your intuitive skills at a pace that is right and comfortable for you, continually empowering you to receive incredible clarity, internal guidance, and direction in your life through learning how to keep these energetic channels clear.

So Where Does Our Lack of Belief Come From?

We develop our psychic abilities during childhood. These gifts are passed down through close individuals who teach us to notice more — basic survival instincts that enable us to move safely throughout the world. 

However, if I grew up without relatives or grandparents who were practicing shamans, and if I wasn’t shown to hold a deep reverence and spiritual connection to pacha mama, I would have to attend shamanism school as an adult to reaffirm my connection in this way. I would need to rebuild my trust in the powerful insights and wisdom available to me by relearning how to journey with my spirit guides. 

And if my “crazy” Aunt Carolyn doesn’t happen to be a practicing psychic, and my entire family doesn’t believe her premonitions, and makes fun of the “weird” things she says during holiday dinners, I learn to let go of all my intuitive abilities and psychic gifts, shunning any gifts I may be aware I have, and disconnecting from them completely in order to fit in with my family. 

I learn to stop believing in my own innate power and discovering my own immense worth.

Remembering Our Innate Power and Gifts

Until we have an awakening experience and truly seek out the ability to enhance and develop our own intuitive abilities, so we can listen to and embody our own inner truth and wisdom, our relationship to our psychic gifts are based upon a combination of our family’s belief systems and any thought patterns we’ve absorbed while growing up. 

We’ve also consistently received false and conflicting information.

We’ve been warned all our lives about psychics being a scam. And we’ve also experienced the Hollywood version of psychics and wizards, complete with a velvet table cloth, crystal ball, a fog machine, and vague information or obvious answers which help to confirm our disbelief. 

As children we are told to stop being so sensitive, that ghosts aren’t real, and that pain is always physical. Through this conditioning, we start to believe that emotions and intuition aren’t as valid as science and reason. We begin to need proof. 

So we continue to suppress our gifts, sneer at clairvoyants (the clair sense of clearly seeing), and accept the physical realm as the full extent of our reality. 

Learning how to tap into your own intuitive abilities requires that you release yourself from being deceived, and from all of the times in your life that you have ever been deceived. That deception is what lies between you and your belief around whether or not psychics are real — and if you can become one too.

While there are some people who call themselves psychics and can take advantage of and prey upon your deepest fears and vulnerabilities, this does not mean that working with a psychic will always lead to exploitation and your being gullible or tricked. 

So while you are reading this, let’s un-create each of the beliefs that we’ve covered above, delete, and destroy each of them across all time, dimension, space and reality for you. Take a deep breath, exhale, and allow it all to go. 

Now how does that feel?

Were You Told Your Imaginary Friend Was Not Real? 

I don’t know about you, but I experienced a kindergarten class where I was handed a peach crayon for drawing the skin color of my family. If I had chosen green because I saw what was considered an alien walking around with me all day, as part of my “family” it would have raised an eyebrow from my teacher or a pointing finger from the student sitting next to me. I know my mom would not have believed me, and told me to “stop daydreaming” like she regularly did.

So any early supernatural events I experienced were regularly dismissed and discredited, and I grew up thinking being psychic was similar to learning magic (tricking someone) or describing a make-believe fairytale such as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. I was also the baby of the family and was regularly told I was wrong, or “not born yet” enough times to doubt any magic abilities or my capabilities to change my current set of circumstances in any meaningful way. And being hyper aware, I desperately wanted to fit into a world that made absolutely no sense to me, so I silenced myself and my intuitive abilities in defense.

I also experienced a religious upbringing, which brings about its own set of passed down beliefs. For many of my early childhood years, I received the message loud and clear that I was not powerful. In addition, I was taught that my power was outside of myself and lived in something I could not possibly comprehend or understand. I came to accept through my religious experience that I had no control over my life and to put my trust in god’s hands. So I prayed every night for over a decade, and after not receiving what I was asking for, I decided god hated me and in response became an atheist. 

And let me tell you, adopting the powerful limiting beliefs that atheism requires led me through a path of death and destruction in my life for many years. I became angry, justified, lost, fearful, anxious and completely off my spiritual path by shunning my spiritual connection, gifts and awareness. My reality quickly and inevitably reflected all of my beliefs about myself and the world.

So in order to eventually pierce through my “dark night of the soul”, I had to first completely walk away from a life of disbelief. Then through incredible instruction and guidance from those around me, I was led through identifying, then clearing the beliefs I held surrounding my wanting to be here on earth at this time (instead of somewhere other than here) so I could fully love, believe, accept, and begin to manifest my life here in an abundant way in this 3rd dimensional reality and lifetime. 

And that is when everything changed. I suddenly and vividly remembered again why I’m here - just like I did in childhood. There had been a bunch of stuff that happened from late childhood into adulthood that got in front of me remembering my gifts anymore, and more than likely, the same thing has happened for you.

Tapping Into Your Psychic Abilities

Right after a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual crisis in my late 30’s which cracked me wide open, I began training as a Reiki student in order to integrate, process and heal from the inner child work I was doing with a trauma-informed psychologist. At the time, I remember feeling like my Reiki Master teacher or my Shamanism Leader were in a special group and I could never be as spiritually powerful or masterful as they had become. They both had unshakable self-belief in their intuitive awareness.

If I’m honest, I felt shame for not having a deeper understanding or a connection to how to use my gifts, or learning them earlier. I wished I had been born into a family who had encouraged my intuitive abilities. This emotional attachment was something I had to work on to release, eventually coming to a place of acceptance of what “should have” happened, and instead embrace the reality that I am already all-knowing, and I have the rest of my life to become the best version of me in this lifetime.

You are also all-knowing; however some, if not all, of your psychic abilities might lie dormant inside of you, which does not mean that it won’t be a journey to even deeper awareness. Our experiences and soul lessons may be different, and I may have started practicing my intuitive gifts before you, but that does not mean you aren’t as powerful or psychic as I am. I’m here to remind you of how gifted you truly are, and together, we are able to create some incredible and powerful shifts in your life.

I remember having a conversation with a Reiki Master higher up in my Reiki lineage. I told her how gifted she was with a meditation she led me through, and that I hoped to be as good as she was some day. Jennette politely laughed and said, “Everything is unfolding perfectly. You are perfect just as you are.” 

Her response of unconditional love, non-judgment, and non attachment left such an impression on me that I had “Everything is unfolding perfectly” written in all kinds of places to remind me for several months, so I could regularly take it in.

A few years later, at the beginning of clairvoyant training, I again found the director of my school all-knowing, and was thirsty to answer my deeper questions about developing specific abilities — to only know what she knew— then I would become a master. Halfway through her program, I recognized that my perfectionism and wanting to “get things right” was creating resistance around deepening my own spiritual connection and receiving the answers I was looking to her to answer. 

That moment of awareness was extremely powerful for me - simple, but incredible. I still remember which class I finally felt able to and knew how to release what stood between me, and being about to clearly see (clairvoyance), and when my ability to see my spirit guides or trust the information I was shown became even more pronounced and easier for me to “see”.

It was through each teacher’s guidance, leadership, mentoring, and training that I unravelled what I personally believed about being psychic or having intuitive gifts and abilities. I was a non-believer and had to practice and exercise my dormant abilities. This is how I am able to witness and hold the same space for others to do the same.

Whether one refers to him/herself as psychic, I want you to know, it's not a secret club. It is my firm belief that every human being can access their intuitive abilities — and that in learning to access and build on those skills, you can experience less anxiety and have more trust in yourself and the world.

Want more ways to enhance your abilities? Take a psychic class or meditate. Learn how to work with your guides by asking for what you need and trust your perceptions as truth. Become attuned to Reiki, or learn practical tools to keep your energetic centers open and in alignment. Keep a dream journal.

Psychic abilities are one of the greatest gifts of nature. They enable us to sense something beyond the realm of our existence. A connection to something so much larger than us. They are abilities that everyone possesses to some extent, although most of us go through life not realizing the vast potential that lies within us — and must be cultivated with intent. These abilities are more normal than the traditional modes of communication that we attribute to the spirit and which are limited through the five senses of the body. If anything, our psychic abilities and intuition become even more pronounced and astute with exercise and use, just like any other muscle or organ in our bodies, and incorporating them throughout your day is life transformative.

The Power of Boundaries: How Setting Limits Transforms Your Life

In today’s fast-paced world, learning to set boundaries is more than just a skill—it’s a cornerstone of mental health, emotional resilience, and healthy relationships. Boundaries create space for self-respect, protect your energy, and improve the quality of your interactions with others. Whether in personal relationships, at work, or in self-care, boundaries empower you to live authentically and stress-free.

In this blog, we’ll explore the importance of boundaries, how to set them effectively, and the transformative power they hold in every aspect of your life.

What Are Boundaries and Why Do They Matter?

Boundaries are the limits we establish to define what is acceptable and unacceptable in our lives. They act as invisible barriers, offering:

• Protection: Shielding your emotional, mental, and physical energy from being drained.

• Clarity: Helping you communicate your needs clearly and avoid misunderstandings.

• Empowerment: Giving you control over your choices and responses.

Healthy boundaries ensure you maintain your well-being while fostering mutual respect in relationships. Without them, you risk burnout, resentment, and feeling unappreciated.

The Benefits of Setting Boundaries

1. Improved Mental Health:
   Boundaries reduce stress, anxiety, and feelings of overwhelm by preventing overcommitment and emotional exhaustion.

2. Stronger Relationships:
   Clear boundaries create a foundation of trust and respect, allowing both parties to thrive.

3. Increased Self-Respect:
   Setting and honoring your limits demonstrates that you value your time, energy, and well-being.

4. Better Time Management:
   Saying “no” to what doesn’t serve you frees up time for what truly matters.

Types of Boundaries You Should Set

Boundaries exist across various aspects of life. Here are three main types to focus on:

1. Physical Boundaries

These involve your personal space, privacy, and physical needs.

• Example: “Please knock before entering my room.”

2. Emotional Boundaries

These help protect your feelings and energy from being depleted by others.

• Example: “I’m not comfortable discussing this topic right now.”

3. Spiritual Boundaries

These safeguard your beliefs and values, ensuring they are respected by others.

• Example: “I need time for meditation and reflection daily.”

How to Set Healthy Boundaries

Establishing boundaries can feel challenging, especially if you’re used to people-pleasing or avoiding conflict. Here are practical steps to help you set and maintain healthy limits:

1. Identify Your Needs

Understand what drains your energy or makes you uncomfortable. Reflect on what changes would improve your well-being.

2. Use “I” Statements

Communicate your needs without blaming others.

• Example: “I need some time alone to recharge” instead of “You’re too demanding.”

3. Be Clear and Direct

Ambiguity leads to confusion. State your boundaries in simple, straightforward language.

• Example: “I’m unavailable for work calls after 6 PM.”

4. Follow Through

Enforce your boundaries consistently. If you don’t honor your own limits, others won’t either.

5. Practice Self-Soothing

Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable, but learning to self-regulate will ease the process. Meditation, journaling, or deep breathing can help you stay grounded.

Overcoming Common Boundary-Setting Challenges

Setting boundaries can be difficult, especially if you fear conflict or rejection. Here’s how to navigate common obstacles:

1. Guilt:
   Remember, saying “no” to others is saying “yes” to yourself. Boundaries are not selfish—they’re necessary.

2. Pushback:
   Some people may resist your boundaries, especially if they’ve benefited from your lack of them. Stay firm and remind yourself of your worth.

3. Uncertainty:
   If you’re unsure where to start, focus on small changes. Each step builds confidence.

How Boundaries Transform Your Life

When you set and maintain boundaries, you create space for growth, self-care, and meaningful connections. Here’s how boundaries empower different areas of life:

• Work-Life Balance: Prevent burnout by setting limits on overtime and after-hours communication.

• Relationships: Foster deeper, healthier connections by ensuring mutual respect and understanding.

• Self-Care: Prioritize your needs, creating time for rest, hobbies, and personal growth.

The Link Between Boundaries and Emotional Healing

Boundaries also play a crucial role in emotional healing. By protecting your physical, emotional, and spiritual layers—also known as your auric field—you create a safe space for self-reflection and recovery. Each boundary strengthens your connection with your inner self and promotes long-term resilience.

Final Thoughts

The power of boundaries lies in their ability to transform your life from chaos to clarity, from stress to serenity. By setting and honoring your limits, you take control of your energy, relationships, and well-being.

Start small, stay consistent, and remember—you deserve to live a life that respects your needs and values.

💡 Ready to embrace the power of boundaries? Share your experiences or tips in the comments below!

Transforming Generational Trauma into Personal Power

Generational trauma—unspoken pain passed down through families—can feel like a heavy, invisible chain, but it doesn't have to define your future. By recognizing these inherited wounds, you can break the cycle and transform them into a source of personal strength. In this post, we’ll explore how to identify generational trauma, take actionable steps toward healing, and reclaim your power.

What Is Generational Trauma?

Generational trauma, also known as intergenerational trauma, refers to the psychological and emotional wounds passed down from one generation to the next. These can manifest in:

• Family dynamics: Patterns like emotional neglect, abuse, or abandonment.

• Beliefs and behaviors: Fear of failure, low self-worth, or perfectionism.

• Physical health: Chronic stress and related conditions like anxiety or depression.

Trauma that isn’t addressed becomes embedded in the family system, subtly influencing attitudes, choices, and relationships over decades.

The Impact of Generational Trauma

Unresolved trauma can show up in your life as:

• Difficulty forming healthy relationships

• Struggles with self-esteem and confidence

• Anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges

• A sense of being stuck in repeating cycles

By becoming aware of these inherited patterns, you create an opportunity for change—not just for yourself, but for future generations.

Steps to Transform Generational Trauma into Personal Power

1. Acknowledge the Patterns

Awareness is the first step to transformation. Look at your family history and personal behaviors with curiosity, not judgment. Ask yourself:

• Are there recurring themes in my family (e.g., addiction, emotional suppression)?

• How have these patterns affected my beliefs, relationships, and choices?

2. Seek Support

Healing generational trauma often requires more than self-reflection. Consider:

• Therapy: Techniques like EMDR, somatic experiencing, or family systems therapy can help you process inherited pain.

• Support groups: Find connection with others navigating similar journeys.

3. Develop Self-Awareness Tools

Mindfulness practices can help you tune into your emotions and reactions. Try:

• Journaling: Write about the emotions that arise in response to family patterns.

• Meditation: Create space to observe without judgment.

• Body awareness: Recognize where trauma might be stored physically.

4. Rewrite the Narrative

You have the power to create a new story for yourself. Replace limiting beliefs with empowering affirmations. For example:

• Instead of: “I’ll never be good enough,” try: “I am capable and worthy.”

5. Break the Cycle

Commit to making choices that reflect your new awareness. This may mean:

• Setting boundaries with family members

• Creating healthy relationship patterns

• Teaching your children emotional intelligence

How Transforming Trauma Creates Personal Power

When you heal, you transform inherited pain into strength. Personal power comes from:

• Self-awareness: Understanding yourself deeply and honoring your needs.

• Resilience: Overcoming challenges strengthens your confidence.

• Empathy: Your journey allows you to connect with and support others.

Every step you take toward healing is an act of courage. It not only liberates you but also creates a ripple effect, empowering those around you and paving the way for future generations.

Why Now Is the Time to Heal

Breaking the cycle of generational trauma isn’t just a personal decision—it’s a revolutionary act. In a world where trauma is often normalized, choosing healing is a bold statement of self-love and growth.

Start Your Journey Today

Transforming generational trauma into personal power takes time, effort, and courage, but the rewards are worth it. By acknowledging the pain, seeking help, and embracing self-compassion, you can rewrite your family’s story and step into your full potential.

Conclusion:
Healing generational trauma is a profound journey of reclaiming your voice and breaking free from inherited pain. The power to change begins with you—start now, and transform your past into a legacy of strength.

#GenerationalTrauma #HealingJourney #BreakTheCycle #PersonalEmpowerment #EmotionalResilience #TransformingTrauma #IntergenerationalHealing

Somatic Healing: Reconnecting with Your Body After Trauma

Trauma has a profound effect on the body and mind, often leaving survivors feeling disconnected from their physical selves. Somatic healing offers a transformative approach to trauma recovery, emphasizing the reconnection between mind and body. This guide delves into somatic healing, explaining its benefits, techniques, and why it's a powerful tool for trauma recovery.

What is Somatic Healing?

Somatic healing is a body-centered approach to trauma therapy. Unlike traditional talk therapy, which focuses on cognitive processing, somatic healing recognizes that trauma is often stored in the body. This method helps release tension, emotional pain, and unresolved trauma through physical awareness and movement.

How Trauma Affects the Body

Trauma disrupts the body’s natural balance. Prolonged stress can result in:

• Chronic tension or pain

• Fatigue and low energy

• Difficulty regulating emotions

• Disconnection from physical sensations

The body’s fight-or-flight response may remain activated, creating a cycle of stress that feels impossible to escape. Somatic healing helps break this cycle by teaching the body to release stored trauma and reestablish a sense of safety.

Benefits of Somatic Healing for Trauma Recovery

1. Reconnection with Your Body: Trauma often causes dissociation or detachment from physical sensations. Somatic healing restores the mind-body connection, grounding you in the present.

2. Emotional Regulation: By addressing trauma stored in the nervous system, somatic practices help reduce anxiety, stress, and emotional overwhelm.

3. Improved Physical Health: Releasing tension and trauma stored in the body can alleviate chronic pain, fatigue, and other physical symptoms.

4. Empowerment: Somatic healing teaches you to listen to your body’s signals, empowering you to respond to your needs with care and compassion.

Top Somatic Healing Techniques

1. Body Awareness Practices

   • Pay attention to physical sensations without judgment.

   • Start small: Notice your breath, tension in your shoulders, or the way your feet feel on the ground.

2. Grounding Exercises

   • Reconnect to the present moment by engaging your senses.

   • Example: Press your feet firmly into the floor, notice textures around you, or focus on deep, slow breaths.

3. Somatic Experiencing

   • A trauma-specific method developed by Dr. Peter Levine, focusing on releasing stored energy in the nervous system.

4. Movement and Dance

   • Engage in mindful movement to express emotions and release tension. Yoga, tai chi, and freeform dance are particularly effective.

5. Touch Therapy

   • Therapeutic touch techniques like massage or craniosacral therapy can help release trauma stored in muscles and tissues.

6. Breathwork

   • Conscious breathing techniques calm the nervous system, release tension, and improve emotional regulation.

How to Start Your Somatic Healing Journey

1. Work with a Certified Somatic Therapist: A trained professional can guide you through practices tailored to your needs and trauma history.
2. Incorporate Daily Practices: Start with simple exercises, like body scans or grounding, to build awareness and comfort with your physical self.
3. Be Patient: Healing from trauma takes time. Approach your journey with kindness and curiosity, not judgment.

Somatic Healing and Trauma Recovery: A Holistic Path Forward

Trauma recovery is deeply personal, and somatic healing offers a compassionate, effective path for those seeking to reconnect with their bodies. By addressing the physical impact of trauma, this approach promotes holistic healing, empowering survivors to move forward with resilience and self-compassion.

Whether you’re new to somatic healing or exploring additional trauma recovery methods, reconnecting with your body is a powerful step toward reclaiming your life.

By incorporating somatic practices into your life, you can embrace a deeper connection to your body, unlock stored trauma, and find lasting peace.

Ready to begin your journey? Share your thoughts or favorite healing practices in the comments below!

The Invisible Wound: Life with Emotionally Unavailable Caregivers

When we think of childhood wounds, physical scars or obvious trauma often come to mind. Yet, there’s a more insidious wound that many carry into adulthood—the one inflicted by emotionally unavailable caregivers. This invisible injury shapes how we perceive ourselves, others, and the world. It’s a silent struggle that leaves lasting marks on self-esteem, relationships, and emotional well-being.

What Does It Mean to Have Emotionally Unavailable Caregivers?

Emotionally unavailable caregivers are those who, due to their own struggles, fail to provide the emotional support, presence, and validation children need. This isn’t always intentional; these caregivers may be dealing with:

• Unresolved trauma from their own childhood.

• Mental health challenges like depression or anxiety.

• Addiction or substance abuse.

• A lack of emotional skills, stemming from cultural or generational norms.

Rather than creating a secure environment where emotions are nurtured, they may:

• Dismiss or ignore their child’s feelings.

• Respond inconsistently—warm one moment, detached the next.

• Demand emotional labor from their child, reversing the parent-child dynamic.

The Lasting Impact of Emotional Unavailability

Living with emotionally unavailable caregivers often results in:

1. Struggles with Emotional Regulation

Children of these caregivers often suppress their own emotions to avoid rejection or criticism. As adults, they may struggle to identify, express, or even feel their emotions fully.

2. Low Self-Esteem

When a caregiver doesn’t acknowledge or validate a child’s feelings, the child internalizes the belief that they’re unworthy of love or attention. This can lead to a persistent sense of inadequacy.

3. Difficulty Building Healthy Relationships

Without a model for secure attachment, adult relationships often feel unsteady. People may find themselves drawn to emotionally unavailable partners, recreating the familiar dynamics of their childhood.

4. A Fear of Vulnerability

Opening up emotionally may feel risky or even dangerous for those who grew up with emotionally distant caregivers. This fear can lead to isolation or surface-level connections.

Recognizing the Invisible Wound

Identifying these wounds is the first step toward healing. Signs you may have experienced emotional neglect include:

• A pervasive feeling of emptiness or emotional numbness.

• Difficulty identifying or trusting your emotions.

• Constantly seeking external validation or approval.

• Struggling with boundaries, often putting others’ needs above your own.

Healing from Emotional Neglect

While these wounds run deep, healing is possible. Here are steps to begin the journey:

1. Acknowledge the Wound

Recognizing the impact of emotionally unavailable caregivers can be painful but liberating. It’s not about blame—it’s about understanding your story.

2. Seek Professional Support

Therapists trained in childhood emotional neglect (CEN) or attachment theory can provide valuable tools for processing these experiences and building healthier patterns.

3. Learn Emotional Skills

Practicing mindfulness, journaling, or attending emotional intelligence workshops can help reconnect you to your feelings and develop healthier emotional regulation.

4. Set Boundaries

If your caregivers remain emotionally unavailable, it’s crucial to establish boundaries to protect your well-being while maintaining a relationship on your terms.

5. Build Secure Attachments

Surround yourself with emotionally healthy people who support and validate you. Over time, these connections can model the emotional safety you lacked in childhood.

Turning Pain into Power

The invisible wounds left by emotionally unavailable caregivers don’t have to define you. While they shape your past, they don’t dictate your future. By acknowledging the hurt, seeking help, and practicing self-compassion, you can transform the pain into a source of strength.

Healing is not linear, but each step you take is a declaration of your worthiness. You are not the emotional neglect you endured—you are the resilience you’ve built.

FAQs on Emotionally Unavailable Caregivers

1. How can I tell if my caregiver was emotionally unavailable?

Signs include lack of warmth or affection, dismissiveness toward your feelings, or an overemphasis on achievements over emotional connection.

2. Can emotionally unavailable parents change?

Yes, but only if they acknowledge their behavior and seek to improve. However, change isn’t guaranteed, and your healing doesn’t have to depend on theirs.

3. What are the best resources for healing from emotional neglect?

Books like Running on Empty by Dr. Jonice Webb and therapy approaches like Inner Child Work or Attachment Therapy are great starting points.

Life with emotionally unavailable caregivers is challenging, but it’s not the end of your story. You can rewrite your narrative, learning to nurture yourself in ways you never received. Remember, the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself.

If this resonates with you, share your thoughts or story in the comments below. Let’s heal together.

#EmotionallyUnavailableCaregivers #EmotionalHealing #ChildhoodTrauma #SelfCompassion #MentalHealthMatters #HealingJourney #InvisibleWound

Personality Disorders 101: Understanding Different Types and Their Tendencies

Personality disorders are complex mental health conditions that affect how individuals think, feel, and interact with others. With a prevalence of approximately 9-15% in the global population, understanding these disorders is crucial for reducing stigma and fostering empathy. In this guide, we’ll explore the different types of personality disorders, their tendencies, and how they manifest in daily life.

What Are Personality Disorders?

Personality disorders are a group of mental health conditions characterized by long-term patterns of behavior, thoughts, and emotions that deviate from societal norms. These patterns can cause significant distress and impairments in personal, social, and occupational functioning.

The Three Clusters of Personality Disorders

Mental health professionals group personality disorders into three clusters based on similar characteristics.

Cluster A: The "Odd or Eccentric" Disorders

These disorders are marked by unusual behaviors, distorted thinking, and social withdrawal.

1. Paranoid Personality Disorder

   • Key Traits: Distrust, suspicion, and interpreting others’ motives as malevolent.

   • Tendencies: Avoidance of close relationships, hypersensitivity to criticism.

2. Schizoid Personality Disorder

   • Key Traits: Detachment from social relationships, limited emotional expression.

   • Tendencies: Preference for solitude, lack of interest in social connections.

3. Schizotypal Personality Disorder

   • Key Traits: Eccentric behavior, magical thinking, discomfort with close relationships.

   • Tendencies: Odd speech patterns, unusual perceptions, and fear of social intimacy.

Cluster B: The "Dramatic or Erratic" Disorders

These disorders are characterized by intense emotions, impulsivity, and unpredictable behavior.

1. Antisocial Personality Disorder

   • Key Traits: Disregard for rules, lack of empathy, manipulative tendencies.

   • Tendencies: Aggression, deceitfulness, and failure to conform to social norms.

2. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

   • Key Traits: Instability in relationships, self-image, and emotions.

   • Tendencies: Fear of abandonment, impulsive behavior, and intense mood swings.

3. Histrionic Personality Disorder

   • Key Traits: Excessive attention-seeking, emotionality, and desire for approval.

   • Tendencies: Dramatic expressions of emotion, superficial relationships.

4. Narcissistic Personality Disorder

   • Key Traits: Grandiosity, need for admiration, lack of empathy.

   • Tendencies: Exploiting others, fragile self-esteem, and sensitivity to criticism.

Cluster C: The "Anxious or Fearful" Disorders

These disorders involve pervasive feelings of fear, insecurity, and the need for control.

1. Avoidant Personality Disorder

   • Key Traits: Extreme sensitivity to rejection, fear of inadequacy.

   • Tendencies: Avoiding social situations, low self-esteem, and reluctance to take risks.

2. Dependent Personality Disorder

   • Key Traits: Excessive reliance on others for emotional and decision-making support.

   • Tendencies: Difficulty being alone, submissive behavior, and fear of separation.

3. Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD)

   • Key Traits: Preoccupation with order, perfectionism, and control.

   • Tendencies: Rigidity, difficulty delegating, and excessive focus on rules.

Common Signs and Symptoms of Personality Disorders

While each personality disorder has distinct characteristics, some common signs include:

• Persistent difficulty forming or maintaining relationships.

• Rigid and extreme thinking patterns.

• Emotional instability or overreaction to stress.

• Difficulty understanding or empathizing with others.

Causes and Risk Factors

The exact cause of personality disorders remains unknown, but researchers suggest a combination of:

1. Genetics: A family history of mental health disorders increases risk.

2. Environmental Factors: Trauma, neglect, or abuse during childhood.

3. Brain Function: Differences in brain chemistry and structure.

Treatment Options for Personality Disorders

Effective treatment focuses on managing symptoms and improving quality of life. Common approaches include:

• Psychotherapy: Techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) help individuals learn coping strategies.

• Medication: While no specific medication exists for personality disorders, antidepressants or mood stabilizers may address co-occurring symptoms.

• Support Groups: Sharing experiences with others who understand can provide comfort and perspective.

Breaking the Stigma Around Personality Disorders

One of the most significant challenges for individuals with personality disorders is societal stigma. Education and open conversations can help dispel myths, fostering understanding and compassion.

Final Thoughts

Understanding personality disorders requires empathy and awareness. By recognizing the signs, seeking proper treatment, and supporting loved ones, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for those living with these conditions.

Have questions or insights about personality disorders? Share your thoughts below or tag someone who might benefit from this information!

Smother Love: When Care Becomes Suffocating

Love is often celebrated as a selfless act of care and devotion. But what happens when that love crosses the line from nurturing to smothering? Smother love, though well-intentioned, can feel overwhelming, leaving its recipients feeling trapped, stifled, or even resentful. Understanding the signs of smothering, its psychological impacts, and how to set healthy boundaries can transform relationships and promote mutual respect and growth.

What Is Smother Love?

Smother love is a form of affection that becomes excessive or overbearing. It often stems from good intentions—wanting to protect, nurture, or connect deeply. However, when this care oversteps boundaries, it can feel controlling or invasive, rather than supportive.

Common characteristics of smother love include:

• Over-involvement: Constant checking in, offering unsolicited advice, or micromanaging.

• Lack of boundaries: Difficulty respecting personal space or autonomy.

• Emotional dependency: Using care as a way to maintain control or to fulfill one’s own emotional needs.

While the term is often associated with parenting, it can also manifest in romantic relationships, friendships, and even professional settings.

Signs You May Be Experiencing or Giving Smother Love

For the Recipient:

• You feel guilt or obligation to reciprocate care.

• Your personal decisions are questioned or overridden.

• You experience a loss of independence or autonomy.

• Emotional exhaustion or resentment begins to build.

For the Giver:

• You feel anxious or insecure when others assert independence.

• You equate closeness with constant interaction.

• You overstep boundaries, believing you know what’s “best” for the other person.

• You derive a sense of purpose or worth from being needed.

The Psychology Behind Smothering

Smother love often originates from unconscious fears or past trauma. For instance:

• Fear of abandonment: A person may overcompensate with care to prevent loved ones from leaving.

• Low self-esteem: They may seek validation through their caregiving role.

• Control issues: Smothering can be a way to maintain a sense of order or predictability in relationships.

Psychologists suggest that smothering is often rooted in attachment styles. People with anxious attachment may struggle to strike a balance between closeness and independence, leading to overbearing behaviors.

The Impact of Smother Love on Relationships

While smother love comes from a place of care, its effects can be damaging:

For the Recipient:

1. Loss of Identity: Over time, excessive care can stifle personal growth and self-expression.

2. Increased Anxiety: Feeling pressured to meet the giver’s expectations can be emotionally taxing.

3. Erosion of Trust: The lack of respect for boundaries can lead to feelings of resentment or detachment.

For the Giver:

1. Burnout: Constant caregiving without reciprocation can lead to emotional fatigue.

2. Relationship Strain: Overbearing behaviors often push loved ones away, the opposite of the desired outcome.

3. Unfulfilled Needs: Seeking validation through care may leave deeper emotional voids unaddressed.

How to Break Free from Smother Love

For the Recipient:

1. Set Clear Boundaries:
   Politely but firmly communicate your needs. Use “I” statements to express how certain behaviors make you feel.
   Example: “I appreciate your help, but I need space to handle this on my own.”

2. Prioritize Self-Care:
   Build time into your routine for self-reflection, hobbies, and personal growth to maintain independence.

3. Seek Support:
   If smothering behavior feels overwhelming, a therapist can help mediate conversations or guide you in setting boundaries.

For the Giver:

1. Reflect on Your Intentions:
   Ask yourself: “Am I offering help for their benefit, or to ease my own anxiety?”

2. Respect Autonomy:
   Recognize that love doesn’t mean controlling every aspect of someone’s life. Trust them to make their own decisions.

3. Develop Emotional Independence:
   Focus on meeting your own emotional needs through self-care, hobbies, or professional support.

Building Healthier Relationships

Smother love doesn’t have to define your relationships. Here are a few strategies for cultivating a balance between care and independence:

• Open Communication: Honest conversations about boundaries and needs foster mutual respect.

• Practicing Trust: Allow your loved ones to make mistakes and grow from them—it’s a sign of respect for their autonomy.

• Fostering Mutual Growth: Healthy relationships thrive when both parties are free to explore their individual identities while supporting one another.

Final Thoughts on Smother Love

Love should feel empowering, not stifling. By recognizing the signs of smothering, addressing the underlying fears, and cultivating healthy boundaries, relationships can transform into spaces of mutual growth and respect. Whether you’re the giver or recipient of smother love, learning to balance care with independence is one of the most profound acts of love you can offer.

How do you maintain balance in your relationships? Let us know in the comments below!

The Impact of Growing Up with Emotionally Immature Parents

The Impact of Growing Up with Emotionally Immature Parents

Growing up with emotionally immature parents can leave profound and lasting effects on children, shaping their emotional development, self-worth, and relationships into adulthood. While every experience is unique, understanding these impacts can be a transformative step toward healing and building healthier connections with yourself and others.

What Does It Mean to Have Emotionally Immature Parents?

Emotionally immature parents struggle to meet the emotional needs of their children due to their limited ability to regulate their own emotions or empathize deeply. They may exhibit:

• Self-centered behavior: Prioritizing their needs above their child's.

• Difficulty with vulnerability: Avoiding deep emotional conversations.

• Inconsistent emotional support: Oscillating between affection and detachment.

• A focus on control: Enforcing rigid rules while dismissing a child’s individuality.

Key Impacts on Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

1. Emotional Neglect and Suppression

Children raised in these environments often feel unseen or unheard. They may suppress their own emotions to avoid conflict or criticism, leading to difficulty identifying and expressing feelings later in life.

2. Low Self-Esteem

When emotional validation is absent, children internalize feelings of unworthiness. Constant criticism or neglect can lead to a persistent sense of inadequacy and a fear of rejection.

3. Difficulty Forming Healthy Relationships

Children of emotionally immature parents may struggle to build secure attachments. They often fall into patterns of people-pleasing, emotional withdrawal, or seeking validation from unavailable partners.

4. Overdeveloped Sense of Responsibility

Many children take on a caretaker role, feeling responsible for their parents’ emotions or family dynamics. This "parentified child" experience can result in burnout and resentment in adulthood.

5. Challenges with Emotional Regulation

Without healthy models for processing emotions, these individuals may struggle with managing anger, sadness, or anxiety. This can lead to cycles of emotional outbursts or internalized stress.

Healing from the Effects of Emotionally Immature Parenting

While the impacts of growing up with emotionally immature parents are significant, healing is entirely possible. Here are actionable steps to begin your journey:

1. Recognize and Validate Your Experience

Acknowledging the reality of your upbringing is the first step to healing. Understand that your parents’ emotional immaturity was not your fault or responsibility.

2. Develop Emotional Awareness

Reclaiming your emotions involves learning to identify, validate, and process your feelings. Practices like journaling, mindfulness, or therapy can help you reconnect with your emotional self.

3. Set Healthy Boundaries

Establish boundaries that protect your emotional well-being, especially if your parents continue to exhibit emotionally immature behaviors.

4. Seek Professional Support

Therapists specializing in childhood trauma or emotionally immature parenting can provide valuable tools for healing and self-discovery.

5. Reparent Yourself

Learning to nurture your inner child and meet your own emotional needs can fill the gaps left by your upbringing. This process fosters self-compassion and emotional resilience.

Final Thoughts

Growing up with emotionally immature parents is a challenge that can impact every area of your life, but it does not define your future. By recognizing these patterns and actively working to heal, you can break the cycle and create a healthier, more fulfilling life.

If you’re ready to embark on this healing journey, remember that you are not alone. Every step you take toward understanding and nurturing yourself is a step toward emotional freedom.

Looking for More Support?
Check out our resources and guides on overcoming childhood emotional neglect and building a resilient, self-compassionate life. Let’s heal together.

The Hidden Scars of Maternal Narcissism: Healing from Emotional Neglect and Abuse

Maternal narcissism leaves lasting scars that are often invisible to the outside world. For those who grow up under the shadow of a narcissistic mother, the emotional impact can ripple into every aspect of life—self-esteem, relationships, and mental health. This blog dives deep into the subtle yet profound wounds caused by maternal narcissism and how survivors can begin their journey to healing.

What Is Maternal Narcissism?

A narcissistic mother exhibits a lack of empathy, a need for control, and a tendency to prioritize her own needs above those of her children. Unlike nurturing caregivers, these mothers see their children as extensions of themselves, using manipulation, guilt, or criticism to maintain dominance.

Key characteristics of maternal narcissism include:

• Emotional Manipulation: Using guilt or shame to control behavior.

• Conditional Love: Affection is tied to achievements or compliance.

• Gaslighting: Denying or distorting reality to confuse and undermine confidence.

• Projection: Blaming the child for issues caused by the mother’s behavior.

The Hidden Scars Left Behind

Growing up with a narcissistic mother often results in long-lasting emotional wounds. These hidden scars may manifest as:

1. Low Self-Esteem
   Constant criticism or lack of unconditional love can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

2. People-Pleasing Tendencies
   Children of narcissistic mothers often become hyper-attuned to others’ needs, sacrificing their own in the process.

3. Difficulty Setting Boundaries
   Having boundaries disrespected repeatedly can make it challenging to establish healthy limits in adulthood.

4. Fear of Abandonment
   Conditional love creates a deep fear of being left or rejected by others.

5. Emotional Dysregulation
   The lack of a secure emotional foundation can result in anxiety, depression, or difficulty managing emotions.

Recognizing the Impact in Adulthood

The effects of maternal narcissism don’t disappear with time. They often resurface in adult relationships, careers, and personal identity. Common signs include:

• Choosing toxic or narcissistic partners.

• Struggling with perfectionism or fear of failure.

• Difficulty trusting others or opening up emotionally.

How to Heal from Maternal Narcissism

Healing is possible, but it requires patience, self-compassion, and intentional effort. Here are steps to begin the recovery process:

1. Acknowledge the Truth
   Recognize the dynamics of your childhood and validate your emotions. Accepting the reality of the past is essential to moving forward.

2. Set Boundaries
   Protect yourself from further harm by creating firm boundaries with your mother or other toxic individuals.

3. Seek Therapy
   Working with a therapist can help you process childhood trauma, develop self-awareness, and rebuild your sense of self-worth.

4. Learn Self-Compassion
   Practice kindness toward yourself, especially when feelings of guilt or shame arise.

5. Build a Support System
   Surround yourself with people who offer genuine care and empathy.

6. Reparent Yourself
   Learn to meet your own emotional needs by nurturing your inner child.

Breaking the Cycle for Future Generations

If you are a parent, breaking free from the patterns of maternal narcissism is crucial. Embrace open communication, validate your child’s feelings, and model healthy boundaries to foster a loving and secure environment.

The Road to Recovery

Healing from the hidden scars of maternal narcissism isn’t easy, but it is transformative. By acknowledging the past, seeking support, and practicing self-love, you can break free from the emotional chains and create a life defined by authenticity, confidence, and peace.

Final Thoughts

Maternal narcissism leaves invisible wounds, but with time and effort, they can heal. If you’re on this journey, know that you’re not alone, and there’s hope for a brighter future.

Breaking the Cycle: Understanding and Overcoming Trauma Reenactment

Trauma can shape our lives in profound ways, often influencing our behaviors and relationships long after the event has passed. One of the most challenging patterns to recognize and address is trauma reenactment, a subconscious cycle where individuals recreate situations that mirror their past traumatic experiences. Breaking free from this cycle is crucial for healing and personal growth. In this blog, we’ll explore what trauma reenactment is, why it happens, and actionable steps to overcome it.

What Is Trauma Reenactment?

Trauma reenactment refers to the repetitive behaviors, emotions, or relational dynamics that echo unresolved traumatic events. This isn’t a conscious choice but a psychological attempt to process or gain control over past pain. Unfortunately, these patterns often result in retraumatization rather than resolution.

For example, someone who experienced emotional neglect in childhood may unconsciously seek out relationships where they feel unimportant or ignored, perpetuating the hurt rather than healing it.

Why Does Trauma Reenactment Happen?

To understand trauma reenactment, it’s important to recognize how trauma impacts the brain and body:

1. Unresolved Pain: Trauma often leaves unresolved emotions or unmet needs. Reenactment is an unconscious attempt to replay scenarios in hopes of achieving a different outcome.

2. Survival Mechanisms: Our brains are wired for survival. Trauma can cause the brain to become “stuck,” seeking familiarity—even if that familiarity is painful—because it feels predictable and safe.

3. Attachment Patterns: Trauma reenactment is often linked to insecure attachment styles, where early relationships set the stage for later relational patterns.

4. Emotional Dysregulation: The nervous system may become overactivated or underactivated, leading to behaviors that perpetuate the cycle of trauma.

Signs You May Be Experiencing Trauma Reenactment

Identifying the signs of trauma reenactment is the first step toward breaking the cycle. Common signs include:

• Repetitive Relationship Patterns: Consistently choosing partners or friends who mirror past abusive or neglectful dynamics.

• Emotional Flashbacks: Overreacting to situations in ways that reflect past trauma rather than present reality.

• Self-Sabotage: Engaging in behaviors that undermine your success or well-being.

• Difficulty Trusting Others: Pushing people away or clinging too tightly in relationships.

How to Break the Cycle of Trauma Reenactment

Breaking free from trauma reenactment requires conscious effort, self-awareness, and often professional support. Here are some strategies to help:

1. Recognize the Patterns

Awareness is key. Journaling about your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors can help you identify repetitive cycles in your life. Reflect on the relationships and situations that consistently cause distress.

2. Seek Professional Help

Therapies such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Somatic Experiencing, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) are highly effective for addressing trauma. A trauma-informed therapist can help you process unresolved emotions and rewire your brain’s response to triggers.

3. Practice Emotional Regulation

Trauma often disrupts the body’s ability to self-regulate. Techniques such as:

• Mindfulness Meditation: Ground yourself in the present moment.

• Breathwork: Calm your nervous system through deep, intentional breathing.

• Body Awareness: Practices like yoga can help reconnect you with your body and release stored trauma.

4. Build Healthy Relationships

Surround yourself with supportive, empathetic individuals who respect your boundaries. Healthy relationships can serve as a corrective emotional experience, helping you develop trust and security.

5. Set Boundaries

Learn to identify and communicate your limits to others. Boundaries protect your emotional well-being and prevent retraumatization.

6. Reframe Your Narrative

Shifting your perspective about past trauma can empower you to break free from its hold. Work with a therapist to rewrite your story, transforming it from one of pain to one of resilience and growth.

7. Commit to Self-Compassion

Healing isn’t linear. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate the ups and downs of this journey. Celebrate small victories, and forgive yourself for setbacks.

The Role of Healing in Trauma Recovery

Healing from trauma isn’t about erasing the past—it’s about integrating your experiences into a narrative of strength and empowerment. By understanding trauma reenactment and actively working to break its cycle, you can reclaim your life and build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Conclusion: Embracing Freedom and Growth

Breaking the cycle of trauma reenactment is challenging but profoundly liberating. As you gain insight into your patterns and take steps to heal, you’ll open the door to a life of greater self-awareness, emotional freedom, and meaningful connections.

If you’re ready to take the next step, reach out to a trauma-informed professional or explore resources that support trauma recovery. Remember, healing is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone.

Share your thoughts below! What strategies have helped you break free from unhealthy patterns?

#TraumaReenactment #HealingJourney #TraumaRecovery #MentalHealthMatters #OvercomingTrauma #EmotionalHealing #BreakTheCycle #SelfGrowth #TraumaAwareness

10 Surprising Ways Trauma Manifests in Your Body

Trauma isn’t just a mental health challenge—it’s a whole-body experience. Emotional pain can leave physical imprints, creating symptoms that many people don’t immediately connect to unresolved trauma. Recognizing these manifestations is the first step toward healing. In this blog, we’ll explore 10 surprising ways trauma shows up in your body, and how you can begin to address them.

Chronic Fatigue

Trauma keeps your nervous system in overdrive, leading to adrenal exhaustion and persistent fatigue. Even if you’re sleeping well, you may feel drained because your body is stuck in a “fight or flight” state.

Solution:

• Mind-body practices like yoga or somatic experiencing can help regulate your nervous system.

• Incorporate stress-reduction techniques, such as deep breathing or mindfulness meditation.

Muscle Tension and Pain

Unresolved trauma can lead to constant muscle tightness, especially in the shoulders, neck, and jaw. This tension may even develop into chronic conditions like fibromyalgia or TMJ.

Solution:

• Massage therapy or myofascial release can help relieve stored tension.

• Gentle stretching exercises, such as those in restorative yoga, can support physical release.

Digestive Issues

The gut-brain connection means that emotional trauma often manifests in your digestive system. Conditions like IBS, nausea, and bloating can be exacerbated by unresolved stress or trauma.

Solution:

• Try gut-healing diets, such as those focusing on probiotics and whole foods.

• Seek therapy that addresses the gut-brain connection, like trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy.

Skin Conditions

Eczema, psoriasis, and even acne can be worsened by trauma. Chronic stress impacts your immune system and increases inflammation, leading to flare-ups.

Solution:

• Manage stress with mindfulness or meditation.

• Use anti-inflammatory skincare routines and consult a dermatologist for additional support.

5. Difficulty Breathing

Many trauma survivors report tightness in the chest or shortness of breath. This can be due to hypervigilance and tension in the respiratory system.

Solution:

• Breathwork exercises, such as diaphragmatic breathing, can help.

• Work with a trauma-informed therapist to address the underlying cause.

6. Frequent Headaches or Migraines

The physical toll of emotional stress often shows up as recurring headaches or migraines. Trauma-related tension in the neck and scalp contributes to these symptoms.

Solution:

• Explore bodywork therapies like craniosacral therapy.

• Incorporate stress-relief practices like progressive muscle relaxation.

Sleep Disturbances

Insomnia, nightmares, or interrupted sleep can all stem from trauma. The brain remains hyperalert, making it difficult to relax or feel safe enough to rest.

Solution:

• Practice good sleep hygiene: maintain a consistent bedtime, reduce screen time, and create a calming evening routine.

• Consider EMDR therapy to process traumatic memories that may be disturbing your sleep.

Changes in Appetite or Weight

Trauma can lead to overeating, undereating, or fluctuating weight. Emotional triggers may influence how the body processes hunger and fullness signals.

Solution:

• Work with a nutritionist or therapist who specializes in emotional eating.

• Practice mindful eating to rebuild a healthy relationship with food.

Sensitivity to Pain

Trauma survivors often report heightened sensitivity to pain, known as central sensitization. Even minor discomforts may feel more intense due to a dysregulated nervous system.

Solution:

• Engage in grounding techniques, such as sensory exercises, to retrain your nervous system.

• Look into trauma-informed physical therapy for pain management.

Autoimmune Conditions

Studies have shown a link between unresolved trauma and autoimmune diseases like lupus or rheumatoid arthritis. Chronic stress can confuse the immune system, leading it to attack healthy cells.

Solution:

• Focus on holistic healing: adopt an anti-inflammatory diet, reduce stress, and seek therapeutic support.

• Consider somatic therapies that address the body’s stored trauma.

Why Trauma Manifests in the Body

Trauma disrupts the body’s natural equilibrium, impacting the nervous system, immune function, and even cell regeneration. Understanding these physical manifestations is crucial to healing holistically—addressing both the mind and body.

Healing from Trauma: What’s Next?

If you’re experiencing any of these symptoms, know that you’re not alone—and that healing is possible. Trauma-informed care, somatic therapies, and lifestyle changes can make a significant difference.

Take Action:

• Seek a trauma-informed therapist or counselor.

• Explore holistic practices like meditation, yoga, and bodywork.

• Prioritize self-care and stress management in your daily routine.

Final Thoughts

Trauma is complex, but it doesn’t have to define you. By recognizing the ways it manifests in your body, you can take empowered steps toward healing. Remember, your body is resilient and capable of incredible transformation.

Share Your Thoughts:

Have you experienced physical symptoms linked to trauma? Share your story or insights in the comments below—we’re here to support one another.

#TraumaHealing #MindBodyConnection #MentalHealthAwareness #HealingJourney #ChronicPain #EmotionalHealth #SomaticHealing #SelfCare

Chromotherapy Benefits Explained

 "Color is the power which directly influences the soul."

Chromotherapy is considered one of the most ancient healing treatments. The history of color medicine has been investigated as medicine since 2000 BC. Phototherapy (light therapy) was practiced in ancient Egypt, Greece, China and India. Ancients used to bathe in the light of colors to gain spiritual harmony and physical purity.

Egyptians used color therapy to help initiate a specific cure. The Egyptians utilized sunlight as well as color for healing. People of that era were unaware of the scientific research, data and evidence of colors as medicine, but they certainly had faith and trusted that primary colors (i.e. red, blue and yellow) could heal. 

According to ancient Egyptian mythology, the art of chromotherapy was discovered by the god Thoth. In the hermetic traditions, the ancient Egyptians and Greeks used colored minerals, stones, crystals, salves and dyes as remedies. Treatment sanctuaries were also painted in various shades of colors. 

In ancient Greece, color was intrinsic to healing, which centered around restoring balance. Garments, oils, plasters, ointments and salves were used to treat disease. What was missing in their medicinal use of color was the use of water as a medium for the absorption of color, which later proved to be the best remedy for removing toxins from the body. This concept is commonly known as hydrochromopathy.

Since ancient times, color and light have been utilized by masterminds, sages, healers, and spiritual gurus. This therapy became more popular when an American civil war general experimented with how blue can help heal disease in humans. In this way, the concept got modernized, and current chromotherapy began.

How Can Chromotherapy Help You?

Chromotherapy provides colors to the electromagnetic body or the aura (energy field) around the body, which in turn transfers energy to the physical body. This makes chromotherapy the most effective among various therapies.

When we speak of color, we mean energy waves. Every color, each with its own frequency, is a form of energy. Beaming a color or colors onto the skin acts as a form of feeding color to the body. 

Colour as pure vibrational energy is the rational therapy for maintaining health and overcoming disease. When applied to the human body, light will provide all deficient energies since every color is associated with a quantity of energy. 

Colors have a profound effect on us at all levels—physical, mental and emotional. If our energy levels are blocked or depleted, then our body cannot function properly, and this in turn can lead to a variety of issues at different levels.

How Do We Consume Color?

Colors are all vibratory. Each of the color photons has its own wavelength and frequency. The body recognizes these waveforms and responds to them. The way we perceive color is because of the vibration it holds. Each color charges our cells a certain way as a result. It is important to acknowledge that each color gives us a certain amount of energy manifesting as creativity, motivation, happiness, or energy that relaxes our bodies, clears the mind of anxiety and stress, and gives us a good night of rest.

According to a critical analysis of chromotherapy by Samina T. Yousuf Azeemi, “Light is responsible for turning on the brain and the body. Light enters the body through the eyes and skin. When even a single photon of light enters the eye, it lights up the entire brain. This light triggers the hypothalamus, which regulates all life-sustaining bodily functions, the autonomic nervous system, endocrine system, and the pituitary (the body's master gland). The hypothalamus is also responsible for our body's biological clock. It also sends a message, by way of light, to the pineal organ, which is responsible for releasing one of our most important hormones, melatonin. 

The release of melatonin is directly related to light, darkness, colors, and the Earth's electromagnetic field. This necessary hormone affects every cell in the body. It turns on each cell's internal activities, allowing them to harmonize with each other and nature. The pineal gland is believed to be responsible for our feeling of oneness with the universe and sets the stage for the relationship between our inner being and the environment. If that relationship is harmonious, we are healthy, happy, and feel a sense of well-being. 

An imbalance in this relationship makes itself known in the form of disorders or disease in our physical, mental or emotional states. The pineal is our “light meter”, and receives information from the heavens above, to give us that sense of oneness with the universe, and from the Earth's electromagnetic field below to keep us grounded. A perfect balance is necessary to maintain our health and to keep us in harmony with the environment.”

The following are some colors which are used in chromotherapy, and are very effective for our wellbeing:

• Violet is the color of imagination and spirituality. It stimulates and nurtures awareness and consciousness. Violet is the color that balances emotional wounds and is effective for spiritual improvement.

• Green is the color of an open heart; it gives sedative energy by calming the body's nervous system. It also helps in bringing down the swelling of joints and inflammation in the body.

• Yellow has a cleansing effect; it purifies the blood. It brings happiness to the mind, gives a strong sense of security, and offers prosperity.

• Blue is an excellent and calm color as it is responsible for bringing tranquility to mind. Stimulating the parasympathetic system, it reflects the vibration of relaxation and peace by maintaining the heartbeat, preventing sleep disorders and headaches. 

• As intuition and sensitivity are very important for spiritual affectivity, turquoise increases intuition and sensitivity. Turquoise can achieve mental relaxation. It is a significant facilitator of spiritual growth.

• Extravagance, creativity and wisdom are demonstrated by the purple color. It helps us align ourselves with each and every aspect of the whole universe; that's why it can enhance our connection with our spirit. 

• White promotes the healing of body, mind, and spirit at all levels. It is a natural pain reliever, eliminating negativity from the body's energy field.

How Does Color Affect Your Chakras?

Chakras are defined as our body's primary spiritual power and energy centers, which balance our spiritual, mental, and physical strength. Each of the seven center points contain energy that regulate the body’s functions, from organs, brain, lungs, stomach and so forth, to the immune system, metabolism, and emotions. Therefore chakra balancing is essential. 

Chromotherapy uses colors to balance the chakras of the whole body. Each of the seven chakras' energy relates to the specific color, and this color representation of chakras affects the healing certainly. For example, your heart chakra is governed by green. Green’s vibration is proven to bring harmony and balance back to one’s body while relieving muscle pain. Green is known to be universally he

Thus, Chromotherapy can be beneficial in re-balancing our chakras, ultimately creating a balance between the spirit, body, and health. 

Spiritual Benefits of the Chromotherapy

Color provokes a psychic vibration. Our behavior, moods, and thoughts are greatly affected by colors. A specific color can motivate and empower us and bring healing energy to our body when it is most needed.  Every color has a meaning for a spiritual seeker because it significantly affects a person’s spiritual growth. It is said that every illness somehow is connected with a person's spirit, so the treatment demands true spiritual healing. Spiritual colors can help assemble energy through the body, which helps nurture happiness, health, and wellbeing.

Colors have a figurative meaning which is immediately recognized by our subconsciousness. Following are some benefits of chromotherapy.

• Depression and anxiety affect spiritual growth.In using chromotherapy, depression and anxiety can become significantly reduced, and in some cases be completely erased.

• Positive emotions have a significant impact on our spiritual well being; negativity can lead us to illness. Applying chromotherapy, our mood can be improved and reversed towards positivity.

• Color therapy is also responsible for improving one’s sleep.

• Chromotherapy boosts one’s creative power.

As the smile of nature, color can refresh your imagination as well as the reality around you. When using chromotherapy, your energetic body receives the nourishment it needs in order to heal. As vibrating light energies; each color ray produces a sound that affects us. Bring colors in your life and see the magical pleasure, healing benefits and enjoyment you receive.

Crystal Healing: Breaking Down The Facts & Advantages

Crystal healing involves placing precious stones on and around a person to clear all of the negative energy you’ve absorbed from the world around you. Crystals act as conduits for healing — allowing positive, healing energy to flow into the body as negative, disease-causing energy flows out. Working on our mental, emotional, and spiritual bodies, the goal is to restore balance and harmony throughout these energetic bodies. 

The unique, innate properties of various crystal formations are harnessed for healing. When a healer places their hands on those stones, this activates the crystals and transmits the necessary energy, or electricity, from that crystal into a client’s energy body—the field of energy that surrounds each of us, which is composed of our seven chakras (energy centers) and invisible to most of our non-clairvoyant eyes.

Think of the process like you would tuning an instrument, an acupuncturist uses needles, or how a masseuse works with your body during massage.

These healing rocks and crystals have their particular vibration and frequency, which arise from their molecular composition which is scientifically measurable. From the way they move and interact, these vibrations and energies work in benefiting and uplifting our mood, mind, and health, often in the way essential oils and aromatherapy work. Acting like a magnet, crystals can absorb the negative energies on your behalf.

Despite the fact that crystal healing has seen an upsurge in popularity during recent years, this alternative treatment is not popular with most medical doctors and scientists, many of whom refer to crystal healing as a pseudoscience. Scientifically speaking, there is no evidence that crystal healing can be used to cure diseases, because diseases have never been recognized by the medical community to be the result of disrupted energetic flow within the body. Furthermore, no scientific studies have shown that crystals and gems can be differentiated by chemical composition or color to treat any particular ailment. 

Nevertheless, healing crystals remain popular at health spas and at New Age health clinics, sometimes incorporated into related practices of massage and Reiki. The use of crystals in such environments help induce relaxation, calmness, and optimal health. 

Why And How Are Crystals So Powerful?

This is where science and mysticism intersect: Crystals are millions of years old and were forged during the earliest part of the earth’s formation. I think of crystals as a timeless database of knowledge, because they retain all the information they have ever been exposed to. Crystals absorb information—whether a severe weather pattern, or the experience of an ancient ceremony—and pass it to anyone that comes into contact with them. 

Crystals are pieces of the Earth with their own gravitational force or energy. Since they are all naturally extracted, they harness the energies of the sun, moon, and oceans (all-natural healing energies) to improve our energetic state. When you place or hold a crystal over the body, it interacts with the body's chakras and promotes physical and mental wellness. Specific crystals can also improve your concentration and creativity while simultaneously promoting physical, emotional and spiritual cleansing.

Essentially Crystals vibrate at the same pitch as humans and maximize the healing abilities we already have. Because of this comforting feeling, when you place a crystal on the body, it helps you connect better and feel at ease. 

Scientifically, crystals are the most orderly structure that exists in nature, meaning they have the lowest amount of entropy (a measurement of disorder). Crystals are structured in such a way that they respond to the inputs of all different energies around them, so they oscillate, emitting specific vibratory frequencies. The way they are balanced, the frequencies they emit, and their ability to store a tremendous amount of information makes crystals essential to modern technologies. This is why there are crystals in computers, TVs, cell phones, satellites, and so on. Crystal quartz is used in high-end watches to ensure precise timekeeping and in microchips for its unmatched storage capabilities.

Masterminds, sages, and healers for many generations have been attracted to crystals for burial rites, divination practices, healing rituals, spiritual advancement, and even simply as decoration to connote power. Our ancestors intuitively knew that when worn, the energies of the stones would interact with the human electromagnetic field to bring radical energetic changes. People gravitate towards vortexes (where energy is either entering into the earth or projecting out of the earth’s plane) like Stonehenge and Sedona because these ancient and massive magical rocks sit on top of energetic ley lines—making them, in effect, an energy portal or place of power. People choose to wear diamonds as a sign of binding two people together (diamonds are the most indestructible natural substance on earth), and adorn the crowns of royals with crystals.

How Do You Choose The Best Crystals For You?

Every crystal type has a different purpose, so it depends what you’re looking for. Some stones may be best used to heal the body or to tap intuition during meditation, while other stones are used in technology or as a part of building structures.

Throughout my travels to metaphysical fairs and events, as well as the Tucson Gem Show, I’ve met vendors from all over the world. I also source my crystals from vendors I trust, who source them ethically. Knowing the lineage of a crystal is somewhat akin to knowing where the food you’re consuming comes from, or certifying that your engagement ring isn’t a blood diamond. Everything carries an energy in it; you want to have the most positive, clean, and clear energies in your crystal.

I always ask crystal store owners where they get their stones, how they harvest the stones, and if they know any physical history about the stone I am choosing. Most importantly, though: If a crystal is yours, then it will speak to you. The stone may get hot in your hand, it can send tingles into your arm, or you might feel a third-eye buzz. Trust your intuition when a stone is yours. If it doesn’t feel quite right, then go with your gut—it’s not meant for you. If you feel that a crystal is yours, but it’s physically dirty or maybe just needs an energetic bath, you can follow the steps for purification.

In a time where good energy is needed more than ever, we can discover the use of healing crystals and how they can improve your body’s energetic flow.

What Are Some Of The Healing Benefits Of Using Crystals?

In the world of alternative medicine, crystals are said to have healing properties that–when holding them or placing them on your body–can promote physical, emotional and spiritual healing. Crystals are used to interact with your body’s energy field, also known as an individual’s chakra.

Crystals are a conduit for energy that can be utilized for clearing stale energy in your home or workplace, and are great talismans for helping children and adults sleep.

There are multiple benefits of using crystals, they can help to raise energy in our homes and offices, attract personal and professional wealth, ward off negative energy, support health, prevent disease, manifest visions and dreams, forecast the future and help you feel and look fabulous!

Is There A Specific Way To Use Crystals?

The best crystal for you at any time depends on what you want to achieve. If you want to bring more love and compassion into your life and relationships, wear Rose Quartz as a pendant near your heart center. If you want to bring more abundance and wealth into your life use Citrine stones as bracelets or rings or place the stones in your office. Or, if you want to work with your body’s Chakra system, match the crystals to the Chakras points to increase their energy and support the energy flow in your body.

We have a natural affinity for crystals that are good for us as individuals. You would likely be uncomfortable working with someone else’s crystal or one that doesn’t suit you. When you find one you like, there are simple methods of clearing the residual energy from its ‘past life’ thus being presented with an empty crystal, like a secondhand computer that is wiped clean of information so that you can start afresh.

Cleanse them with smudging herbs such as White Sage and Palo Santo, as soon as you purchase or receive them. Program them with your intention like love, abundance or protection. Every few weeks, cleanse and charge again. Some crystals love water and the sun, others don’t. It’s important to learn how to take care of your crystals to extend their life and effectiveness.

If you are interested in learning more about crystal healing, I have ordered a Forsyth Crystal Light Table, and once it arrives will be adding Forsyth Crystal Light Table sessions to my offerings page in the future.

The Forsyth Crystal Light Table© is a unique energy tool, invented by Russell Forsyth, that combines ancient wisdom with modern modalities to bring balance and harmony to the human body. Russell received visions of blueprints during channeling sessions with the angels and, as a former builder, acted on the inspiration to create this unique device.

The Gift Of Psychic Knowing

A Claircognizant is a person who simply knows things about the future. Cognizance means knowledge or awareness and so Claircognizants have the psychic intuition of clear thinking.

It’s the feeling of just ‘knowing’ something and learning to trust or act upon the information you receive. It may present itself when you are asked a question, and you immediately know the right answer even though you have no background knowledge on the topic. 

Claircognizance is also when you have premonitions about the outcomes of certain events, with regular accuracy. 

This intuitive ability can apply to any part of a person’s life and is one of the most challenging abilities to discern. This is in part because Claircognizance seems commonplace to many people, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Some examples of claircognizance include being able to finish sentences or knowing the end to a movie.

Or have you ever taken the wrong turn, to miss the traffic or accident you hear about later? Have you ever left home just in time to miss a difficult situation or outcome?

These premonitions turn out to be true without any logical or physical evidence to support them. You just know what to do. You are being divinely guided.

How Exactly Does It Work?

Claircognizant information often comes in like a light bulb illuminating suddenly within your head, or like a drum-beat. It’s a quick flash - a snapshot of an idea. 

Your own self-led thoughts tend to be more circular, something you have been considering over time, or thinking about for a while.

This information comes in so fast, that you often need to write it down right away before you forget it.

Most of the time - it’s a sudden stroke of insight or genius that solves the situation.

These bright, intuitive thoughts of Claircognizance frequently appear when you are working, driving, showering, or doing something completely unrelated to whatever the idea might be about.

Born Lucky

People who are Claircognizant possess an analytical mind and are criminally adept at synthesizing information and turning it from an abstraction into something concrete. I term them ‘seekers’, and in the pure philosophical sense they may also practice the Greek deductive art of subjecting doxa (opinion) to logos (logic & and in this case, intuition) to attain episteme (knowledge). Always betting on the right horse and appearing “lucky” with situations turning out in their favor, Claircognizants simply know the truth.

Some consider Claircognizance to draw its energy from the Akashic records which are present in another dimension called the Akasha. The concept is similar to string theory and quantum mechanics. This dimension is a database of all that has happened, is happening and will happen, and the records are like infinite vinyls containing information from a thousand (or more) years before, as well as a thousand (or more) years after. The laws of metaphysics don’t apply here because time does not run linearly in the Akasha. This makes sense since supra-intellectual wisdom must be obtained from something that is above and beyond our rational human consciousness. 

An Artists Gifts

It is believed that the crown chakra, the chakra that links the mundane to the divine and allows a direct channel for enlightenment and inspiration, must be nourished by meditating and repeating the mantra ‘I know.’ In this repeated sonic vibration in combination with opening up to your inner knowing, the information from your higher self, or other intergalactic beings, angels, or archangels need you to know will be clearly illuminated and received.

Famous artists or writers are also said to possess the gift of Claircognizance and they hone this through the process through the gift of ‘automatic writing.’ The idea is to keep a pen and a notepad with you at all times, or you can sit and envision your crown chakra opening through meditation. Once inspiration strikes, grab your pen and notepad and start writing. Focus only on which flows naturally and don’t force yourself to write. If the words come, let them, and if they don’t, keep your ego in check so as to not disrupt the crown chakra by giving more importance to your individualistic ideas. 

Positive And Negatives Of Being Claircognizant

Similar to Clairsentients, which I wrote about a few weeks ago, practitioners and inheritors of Claircognizance are better adjusted to differentiate between truth and lies. For instance, while I am listening to you speak, I am able to catch you in the act of lying. I am able to both feel, sense, see and know your truth - especially if your words are not in alignment with your higher purpose or inner truth. I know when you are being dishonest or insincere, and I’ve been doing this without trying as far back as I can remember.

I also use my Claircognizance to prioritize and guide my life. Since childhood, I’ve also used this ability to find lost or missing items. Whenever I receive information in this immediate way, I quickly act upon the guidance, because I also know I’m receiving higher guidance and wisdom, and it is not just my ego trying to solve a problem. 

This intuitive ability is not all sunshine and rainbows however. I have a pretty bad habit of cutting others off during conversations. Most of the time, this can get pretty annoying for the person on the receiving end. In my defense, I’m not trying to be rude - my mind is constantly bombarded with information and I feel incredibly pressured (with urgency) to blurt out whatever comes to my head. It feels all-of-a-sudden obvious. Over time, I have trained myself to ask for permission by saying, “Would you like to know why?”, when others seem to be slowed down or stumped by their current circumstances or choices.

When it comes to my conversations, I am generally sharing what the other person was intending to say or deeply grappling with articulating. I will also finish your sentences, or know exactly what you have been trying to tell me - like I’m pulling your words from the ethers.

Signs You Are Claircognizant

If you’re someone who falls asleep with a million pressing questions and yet are able to wake up with a clear head, then you too might possess the ability of Claircognizance. Since your subconscious mind is sitting in the driver’s seat when your eyelids are too heavy to blink, it can form associations and receive inspiration from the psychic world so that when you wake up, you have all the answers (or at least some) but you don’t always know how you got them. 

If you have ever felt that information just suddenly springs into your head from nowhere, and you receive guidance or knowledge that you know in your heart is true, you might be claircognizant. 

If it feels like you can somehow ‘download’ information from an unknown source whenever you want and you receive insights into everyday events, then this is another sign.

The difference between Claircognizance and Clairvoyance is whereas a clairvoyant will see things in their mind’s eye, a claircognizant just knows things in their own mind. We do not feel it, hear it or see it, we simply know it in advance. 

Since Claircognizance is a collaboration between the vessel and the spiritual, one can argue that practitioners of this art serve a higher purpose, believe in something larger than themselves, while focusing their efforts towards the collective good of society. This is not to say that they are weak at collaboration with other individuals, but one might say that they can become a bit difficult in their haste to get the work done. 

The Virtues Of Discipline

If you tend to be a constant thinker who wants to learn all the time and is always gathering information, with a little practice, you can hone your Claircognizant skills and perfect this remarkable ability to intuitively know about the future.

Positive affirmations are a tried and tested way to gain control over your Claircognizant abilities. So, if you want to improve your claircognizant abilities, you need to set the intention that you wish for intuitive guidance.

Write your intention down and read it or say it aloud twice a day. By setting the intention and repeating it, the things you’ve wished for will come to you and you will start to strengthen your ability. 

Viewing yourself as a mere vessel and nothing more can be beneficial for priests and nuns but the function of a Claircognizant is to live this life to the fullest and to accept your gifts by cherishing them. Positive affirmations can be in the form of a prayer, mantra or sacrosanct idioms recited on the rosary, such as:

• ‘I listen to my intuition and my higher self’

• ‘I am connected to my higher power’

• ‘I am vicariously aligned with my authentic self.’ 

If you are interested in improving your Claircognizance, please download an original recording of 50 Crown Chakra Affirmations, by clicking on the highlighted link.

What Are The Signs Of Clairsentience?

Intuitive. Sensitive. Perceptive. Are these words people use to describe you? Maybe you are always worried you’re a bit too emotional - you feel deeply, and you let your gut instinct guide you in all ways. 

Clairsentience is commonly defined as a “clear feeling”. It refers to the ability to feel the past, the present, and the future emotional state of other people, even without using any of the five senses- sight, smell, hearing, tasting, or touching. It is also referred to as the sense of intuition because people who also have Clairsentient abilities can gather information from non-living materials such as buildings, or outside areas also without the use of the five senses. 

People who experience Clairsentience are affected by a myriad of different influences, but it all comes down to being sensitive to changes in energy.

If you are Clairsentient, you are capable of experiencing and feeling both inner and outer energy in a more intuitive way.

You Sense The Energy In A Room

Do you find yourself dramatically getting impacted by subtle alterations in your bedroom or workplace? Does clutter and untidiness in your environment feel like it is affecting your thinking and output so that you can’t really perform well? 

To me, a clean home, but even more than that - recently mopped floors - feels like someone just scrubbed my brain. 

You Are Super Sensitive To Your Environment

Have you ever walked into a room immediately following a heated debate, argument, or fight and becoming aware of what had transpired without having been informed by anyone or actually witnessing anything? 

This is called leftover energy and is one of the key signs that you’re Clairsentient. It’s the reason why crowded areas can be so draining for Clairsentients. 

Are you able to intuit information from undercurrents of emotions that you see in people? As a Clairsentient, you will feel strongly connected to your environment because it has its own energy that impacts on you. That’s why Clairsentient people are highly impacted by their surroundings.

You must often have wondered the cause of this discomfort without ever realizing what it was that you were truly experiencing. Clairsentience means that you become easily attuned to the energies around you, and this is not necessarily limited to the people you interact with. 

You Have Difficulty Dealing With Big Crowds

You might be susceptible to intercepting strong bouts of vibrations from a stranger passing by, or even from someone you’ve only been observing for a minute. When you participate in crowded social events do you often come back home feeling emotionally and mentally drained? 

Clairsentients experience energy more strongly than other people do. That’s why it feels draining if you engage with huge numbers of people for longer periods of time.

Imagine how exhausting it can be if you’re able to sense the emotions, feelings, and moods of the person standing next to you. Now, multiply that by a factor of ten, hundred or thousand.

That’s what Clairsentients can potentially feel when they are in a crowd. Public swimming pools, music concerts, and sports stadiums are some of the places that could often become no-go zones for Clairsentients.   

You Physically Feel Other People’s Pain

If you have Clairsentient abilities you are not only able to pick up on mental energy, but sometimes physical pain, too. You have extreme sensitivity for sentient beings (human, animal, nature) who are suffering and it makes you also feel their pain physically. If you experience this frequently, it is wise to protect yourself by avoiding those types of situations as often as you can.

This means, for example, that you shouldn’t work in a hospital or homeless-center, but instead work with happy kids, an animal sanctuary, or puppy training.

People Think You Are Too Sensitive

Were you tagged as ‘over-sensitive’ during your childhood? 

Do emotional movies make you cry? Do you find it difficult to watch the news?

Do you have strong gut feelings about people when you meet them? Have you ever experienced people coming to you as a go-to-person when it comes to gut feeling? Or can you feel other people’s feelings or next moves without having any interaction with them at all? 

Do you often create intense emotional connections with certain people? Are you a person who knows things without being told? Does your mood change quickly and unexpectedly? 

Your ability to receive psychic information is through sensing and feeling the energies around you. Your ability allows you to understand other people’s feelings, by tuning into them, and this is commonly known as telepathy. 

Energies are both positive and negative and for Clairsentients, the ability to differentiate between them allows them to explore their gift and navigate through the harsh waters of the psychic world without getting too overwhelmed.

Clairsentience vs. Empathy

Clairsentients can better understand the emotions of others including people who might have trouble coming to terms with or understanding their emotions themselves. 

While this may sound similar to describing empathy, it is certainly not the same. While empathy flourishes when you imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes, Clairsentience doesn’t work that way. 

Clairsentients can read the energy signatures of both animate and inanimate objects. You may also serve as a medium for people to connect to their dead family members and relay information by your ability to feel. 

If you become experienced at honing this psychic ability, you will be able to offer true advice that will prevent others from making mistakes and help to lead your clients only in the direction that they want to go. 

Learning To Hone Your Abilities

Once you’ve come to terms with your Clairsentience, you can start focusing on methods to further enhance your abilities. You can make use of ‘psychometry’ which is the practice of trying to pinpoint the energy of an object. To do this, you can grab any object with which you previously didn't have any sentimental association, and try to intuit the origin of its energy. You can rub the object between your fingers or place it against your palm to try and discern the kind of energy it emanates. If you’re a novice, then metallic objects such as wedding rings and bracelets are your instruments of learning since energy is naturally drawn to metal. 

You can meditate inside a crystal grid. You must be familiar with the notion that some crystals such as jasper (empowering), obsidian (protective), amethyst (sincerity) and citrine (optimism), all have healing properties. By placing these crystals or others that complement your needs, in the four corners of your room, you can successfully create a crystal grid for yourself to meditate in. This will enable you to balance your heart chakra and simultaneously access all your Clairsentient abilities have to offer. 

You might be wondering how practitioners of this art have any time at all left for themselves and how they compartmentalize their own emotions? Mother nature assists in this process and lends to Clairsentients its own energy so that they can recharge. It’s important to revitalize your reserves in natural settings and from a pure source, the same as drinking water from a clean well. Clairsentients can also learn to shield themselves from ruthless or dark energies. This can be achieved by praying, asking the universe or divine for protection against fears and negativity, or by learning how to protect yourself through a sacred Reiki symbol, a Clairvoyant tool called an “Energetic Protection Rose”, and can also be accomplished by learning to feel one thing at a time. 

For those interested in learning more about how to increase your own Clairsentience, while protecting your energetic field from daily irritants and stress, head over here to receive my Free Intuitive Meditation to teach you an Energetic Protection Rose, or to learn more about receiving a Reiki attunement go here.

Discover Your Clairaudience

                           “Seek the meaning and purpose behind the voices you hear, 

                                The likes of which are totally inaudible to a normal ear.”

Are you able to hear voices internally, different than your thoughts? How about footsteps when nobody is there? Have you ever experienced ringing in your ears?

Do you ever have conversations with yourself, receiving answers you didn't expect?

Does inspiration and creativity comes naturally to you? Are you highly sensitive and easily pick-up on other's emotions?

Do you have conversations in your daydreams, or did you have an “imaginary” friend with whom you spoke with as a child? A lot of times as children, we call in spirits to assist us, and by inviting that energy in and developing a relationship with this particular being, we develop our Clairaudience. A clairaudient hears messages from spirit guides, angels, or the dead, receiving assistance from the spirit world.

What is Clairaudience?

Clairaudience is the ability to hear psychic messages or tones. These may be external, coming from a source outside your head, or may be internal (a voice in your head). Audient powers can vary enormously: they can include hearing familiar voices, such as those of a loved one who has passed away, or even noises that barely sound human at all. Clairaudience can also include dream discussions that take place while you are sleeping.

Clairaudience is one ability among other psychic powers in the "clair" group. Clairaudience and Clairvoyance (the ability to receive messages in the form of symbols and visions) are very similar abilities, either the ‘seeing' and ‘hearing' of the things which are beyond the reach of normal eyes and ears. There is also Claircognizance (the ability to clearly know), and Clairsentience (the ability to feel sensations or emotions that provide guidance).

When it comes to any psychic abilities, most people believe that these are only granted to the “gifted”, while the truth is, everyone is born with such extraordinary abilities. Some who are able to identify it within themselves at a young age might have the opportunity to enhance their ability, while some remain unaware, and the ability starts to fade away.

The true marker of this talent is that these messages serve a useful purpose. The messages provide guidance in moments of crisis, such as accounts of people seeing a guardian angel. The “clairs” generally become more pronounced in children who were born into abusive families, as an additional means for survival. The spirit world stays in close contact with these children, to help direct them when none else will.

Such is the case when the person possessing this ability has spent most of their lifetime, or extended periods of life, alone or isolated, having no one along his side to share experiences with. Thus, he tends to build the unseen connections with inaudible voices to others around, in order to have someone to talk to. 

A Doorway To The Spiritual Realm

A psychic medium uses Clairaudience to connect with the other spiritual beings around us, and share messages, which is known as channeling. The spirits might sometimes attempt to have a talk with the listener, or they might reach out in need. Thus, Clairaudience can be used as a way to connect with the spiritual world or the spirits, specifically when one desires to reconnect with someone who has passed over into the spirit realm. The voices often come through as an answer to a question, to assist the listener with anything they may be struggling with.

Masterminds, sages, and spiritual gurus, assert that Clairaudience is the language of God. They claim to regard the voices as divine messages, signals or guidance.

What Does It feel Like To Be Clairaudient?

Without proper boundaries, a Clairaudient may always feel like someone is calling him for help by either calling his name out or attempting to have a conversation with him. Sometimes the voices are departed ones who want to reconnect themselves with their people living in this world. The messages may also be a signal from a spirit to reveal something only known to the recipient.

The inner voices that a Clairaudient hears often helps him with a significant transition or trauma by providing advice, truth and wisdom. Hence, with proper instruction and boundaries, Clairaudience can be regarded as a blessing..

Like other kinds of psychics, Clairaudients work by tapping into your energy. They then listen for guidance related to your question. The answers they get come in the form of noises and sounds, leading to a unique experience for the asker.

Psychics with clairaudience have the unique ability to discuss topics with those in the spirit realm. This means that they can guide the conversation in ways that other psychics cannot, centering the discussion around topics that are most important to the asker.

What is The Difference Between Clairaudience And A Mental Illness?

People often confuse Clairaudience with Schizophrenia, however both cases are different due to boundaries, consent and relationship. The key difference is the amount of distress these messages bring you, and the amount of control you have over them.

Clairaudience is an ability where the listener’s instincts and intuitive power are used to help him to interpret the voices in order to make some meaning out of them. In the case of mental illness (possibly Schizophrenia), the person is annoyed by the voices and the sounds, stressing him more and more.

If you are experiencing anxiety or confusion around the noises you hear, see a licensed professional (a doctor or a therapist) immediately. This is especially true if the voices are causing disruption in your social relationships.

Clairaudients use their ability to moderate their experiences with spirits or beings, to give feedback and explain when their guidance is needed. If your voices are intrusive, this is one of the top signs to seek help, guidance, or instruction.

What Questions Should You Ask Clairaudients?

Specialists in Clairaudience are excellent advisors to consult when you are making a choice. This could be at a moment of crisis or a crossroads in your life. Their connection with their guides can help you choose the best path to take.

Similarly, these psychics are a good choice when you need to know invisible factors influencing your current situation. We all have blind spots that affect us in our daily lives. Connecting with a Clairaudient can bring these issues into the light.

For those interested in learning more about how to increase your own Clairaudience, Opening To Channel by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer is a great place to start. To find out more, read reviews, or purchase this book go here.